Husband earns less than his wife psychology. What if the wife earns more than her husband. The main problems of the family, where the wife earns more
It is easy to see that the Russian society does not yet take with a bang the blurring of gender stereotypes and "flipped" families. And in general, “strengthening traditional values” is somehow much more in trend with us now. Many are ready to show their tolerance in public, nodding their heads in agreement and demonstrating the breadth of their views, but in their hearts they still condemn the current state of affairs: well, a woman should not pull a family on herself! This does not mean at all that everyone around is liars and pretenders, not at all. There are just an order of magnitude more “silently disagreeing” or “slightly condemning” people.
There is nothing to be surprised here: stereotypes and traditions still rule in Russian society. It is absolutely normal for us to use the expression "representative of the stronger sex" as a synonym for the word "man". Indeed, you won’t say about a woman - the head of an international company, turning over billions, that she is a representative of the stronger sex?
If you know women who hold leadership positions, they will probably admit to you that they regularly hear the question about their marital status. My friend says that when asked about her husband's occupation, she answers: "He has a very responsible profession." Her husband does housework, repairs, does the family bookkeeping, raises their son, plans vacations, basically everything my friend hates to do. And he does it very well. She is from that category of women who cannot even boil eggs, but she is a born leader who quickly moved up the career ladder thanks to her extraordinary mind, incredible hard work, willingness to learn and emotional intelligence. Both of them - both husband and wife - are satisfied with this state of affairs, but for those around them, the family represents an inexhaustible source of gossip, discussions and other serial scenarios.
Most implicitly believe that such a marriage has no future: sooner or later one of two things will happen - either the wife will get tired of “carrying” her husband on her neck, or the husband will ask the question “Who is the man here?” and leaves to look for a less lively girlfriend. It is clear that this option is not excluded, but there is always an alternative.
What do they think about the "shift families" in the world
A review of foreign and domestic publications on the topic of unequal incomes in the family puts Russia, alas, out of best light: if “with them” coaches, psychologists and everyone else talk about the increase in the number of families where the wife is the breadwinner, about changing gender roles and perceive this as a normal process, then “with us” they ask questions “How to save a marriage if the wife earns more ? or “How not to become a mother to your own spouse?”. That is, the message is initially opposite: the opinion about the development and movement modern society inveterate domestic conservatism and patriarchy oppose: the man is the main one! A woman's place at the hearth! With high earnings, a woman can offend and psychologically injure a man!
American author Farnoosh Torabi, in his book When She Makes More: 10 Rules for Breadwinning Women, writes about the trend towards more women earning more than men. It is logical to assume that the number of men with incomes less than the earnings of their wives is increasing. What do we conclude? Gender roles in the world are changing regardless of people's opinions, this happens naturally, gradually, but inevitably. So, it would be strange to continue to think that marriages, where the income is dominated by a woman, have no future.
Writer Miranda Marquit was asked the question: can a marriage where a woman earns more be happy? Miranda gave several reasons why such a marriage would be successful. The main reason is that in such an alliance, each partner is engaged in what he loves more and what he does better. She cites her marriage as an example: her husband earns much less than Miranda, but thanks to her income, he can afford to do what brings him joy - to teach. This does not bring much income, but gives him a sense of happiness and fulfillment, as well as time for housekeeping. Here is the opposite question: why not be happy in a marriage in which a woman earns more, if this state of affairs suits both husband and wife?
And now let's look at the Russian experts. Psychologist Yulia Sinareva, in an article for Forbes, argues that a wife’s respect for her husband sitting at home “on the Internet, watching movies or playing games” is disappearing, and “nothing can be done about it with the help of logical arguments.” In everything, it turns out that she was originally a “terminator”, which gave the promise to her husband to lie down on the sofa, and she herself would earn money, and wash the dishes, and something else, about huts and horses. If you look at the family from this angle - the woman herself made sure that the man does nothing, and now, you see, she is dissatisfied with this - it is understandable why we have such an attitude towards families with a breadwinner wife. We do not initially consider the point of view according to which the current state of affairs suits both spouses.
In the county town N
If you look at the cities of Russia, it is very clearly visible: the answer to the question “Is it right if a wife earns more than her husband?” depends on the size of the locality. How bigger city, the more tolerant its inhabitants are to the change of gender roles in the family. In small towns, the percentage of those who doubt is higher, but in small towns, the point of view that such a situation is unacceptable is clearly in the lead.
One of my friends received a long-awaited promotion, which she shared with her friends. Of the four friends, three unanimously asked: “How did the husband react?” The fourth rolled her eyes and said: “And what are you going to do now?”, implying that such a situation will inevitably destroy their marriage - a woman in the family cannot, well, cannot occupy a higher position and receive more wages than her husband.
Psychologist, Gestalt therapist Irina Egorova explains it this way: “It’s all about the traditions that are strong in small towns and are reduced to almost nothing when it comes to megacities. The deep-rooted conservatism of the inhabitants of small towns comes to the point that it would not even occur to a woman herself to accept a leadership position or a higher salary compared to her husband.
However, even if the resident small town and is distinguished by the most advanced views, she does not have so many chances to become a breadwinner in the family. It is unlikely that the head of the local enterprise will offer her a managerial position - as they say, "not accepted, sir." If a miracle does happen, her salary will a priori be less than that of a man in a similar position.
But not everything is so sad: the idea that the change of gender roles in the family is normal is already gradually taking root in Russian society. Society is increasingly accepting that - everyone is free to do what is closer to him. In civilized countries, they no longer look askance at men who take maternity leave to care for a child instead of a wife. In families, responsibilities are less and less divided into male and female. We will not make forecasts regarding the timing, but the fact that our society will sooner or later accept the “normality” of families where a man is in charge of the household and a woman is a breadwinner is a fact. And this will happen regardless of whether we want it or not, simply because the world is developing this way.
What if the wife earns more than her husband? This is very good - every 20th thinks so married man in Russia (5%). What is bad - every third (30%). But 60% of the “married” say that if the wife earns more than her husband, then it does not matter, and the remaining 5% of the respondents answered: “I don’t know what to say.” If you think about the meaning of these figures, then the picture emerges completely and completely joyless. It turns out that the vast majority of our spouses (5% + 60% + 5% \u003d 70%) quite calmly give a woman the “right” to earn more (read - to be more successful in life), while they themselves are ready to be content with a modest “secondary role”!
Directly a living illustration for the old Polish film "Sexmission" is somehow obtained. In it, if you remember, the women of the future were sure that all the “males” were creatures, to put it mildly, of the second category: weak, unreasonable and generally subject to destruction as unnecessary. And now men, it seems, do not refuse second roles themselves (see above). What is this? Is that “future” already here? To be honest, I would not want to ... After all, a man, by his nature and destiny, is vital to the desire to BE THE FIRST, win or die. Otherwise, you will be in the weaklings at the tail of the pack. And no female will ever let you in her life, because only the FIRST can continue the race. So prescribed by Nature, but what happens to our men?
Over the past three decades, the number of women who earn more than their husbands around the world has increased three (!!!) times.
"Moscow does not believe in tears"
Just three decades ago, in the 80s of the XX century, the film “Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears” was very popular in the USSR. Noble Gosha - a normal handy and big-headed man, a hard worker - could not come to terms with the fact that his Katerina turned out to be the director of the plant. And left. In Russian, he left, in a multi-day binge. For he received a psychological trauma, being a man of the old school, who sincerely believed that a beloved woman could not surpass a man in social status. Otherwise - misalliance ("marriage between people who differ greatly in property or social status"). I don’t know if Gosha was aware that this term existed or not, but he resisted this phenomenon quite worthily. Because, following male nature, I wanted to be the first in everything. Especially in family relationships. “By the simple right that I am a man,” said the hero of Alexei Batalov. And millions of Soviet women, disliked by drunken husbands, were thrilled by these words ...
And then perestroika happened, breaking everything that had been hammered into the heads of the Soviet people for 70 years. It was necessary to leave the bankrupt research institutes, retrain from engineers to salesmen or racketeers in order to feed the family. It was then, in an era of change, that our men were divided into two unequal camps: those who WANTED and could survive, and those who preferred to go with the flow, leaving their wives to earn money in the changed conditions.
According to psychologists, women are much easier to adapt to all kinds of changes, they are more flexible than men and move away from troubles three times faster.
Role reversal
If under the USSR everyone was “equal”, including in salary, then the capitalist system, where every man is for himself, greatly undermined the psychological mood of a fairly large part of the population. More precisely (and we see this from the figures given in the introduction) - about 2/3 of the representatives of the "strong" sex, without much hesitation agree that the wife may well be not only the keeper of the hearth, but also the breadwinner-"wolf": ) So, if you have such a comrade, not very “fighting for the rights of man and man”, then earn yourself more than him at least 2, at least 200 times - he will only be happy! There are a lot of such men among feminine, creative natures, prone to searching and not at all feeling the need to drag you some stupid mammoths (such “boys-girls” are often found among actors, philologists, directors, musicians). The main thing is that you yourself have “male brains” and acumen, you can easily cope with the calculation of the accounting of a huge plant or the management of a solid company. Then there will be no “graters” in your family about solvency / insolvency. After all, you initially occupy opposite generally accepted places in the family - the wife provides, the wife - the husband - harmonizes and “creates”. Usually in such families there are no children, since the spouse copes with their role quite well. And his wife is proud of him, forgives all weaknesses (alcohol, women, etc.) and demonstrates to familiar accountants as a bright bird of paradise with the words “we wrote a new song here, only bastard fascist producers don’t take it” or “we have a brilliant script Navayali, now we go to theaters, they promised to stage at the Mukhopopinsky Drama Theater.
poor husband
The situation described in the previous paragraph, although it occurs, is quite rare. Still, we still have few women who are ready to be men, groom and cherish a bunny husband instead of their own children. Usually a woman still tries to find a decent job herself, and to stimulate her husband to do this. If it doesn’t work out with persuasion, tears, reproaches (not the best way), then by your own example. Alas and ah, but only 3% of men say that the example of a wife who began to earn more encouraged him to search new job or career advancement. The rest begin to look for excuses like: well, she is more lucky; nowhere will they pay so much for my work; I like the company I work for and I'm not going anywhere; I'm working, not sitting idly by! That is, you feel that the negative particle “NOT” begins to sound more and more often in justification sentences: they DO NOT pay, I DO NOT intend to, I DO NOT sit, etc. The destructive magical power of these sounds, seemingly harmless at first, is enormous. Having survived a couple of conversations with his wife on the topic “why can I earn money, and you are sitting out your pants” and while saying the above set of phrases that begin with denial, the man subconsciously transfers this particle NOT to all areas family life. And gradually he comes to the conclusion that his wife, who is successful in life, simply DOES NOT need him ... The process is, of course, NOT fast, but it goes :) At this time, a man can pretend that he does not care about all this and answer in all opinion polls, that “who earns how much in the family is completely unimportant” (remember our very 68%, with whom we started the conversation). In fact, this is important to him, simply, for convenience, it is driven deep into the subconscious. And if financial luck wives last for years, and he still goes to "poor relatives", then, in the end, everything can end in depression, attempts to go into hard drinking. Well - or leave the family, motivating this act with the words: “But why do you need me like that?” It is understood, dear ladies, in this case it is not always self-abasement, but also the fact that for another woman he will be a hunter, earner and “wow!” man.
And what to do when the wife earns more than her husband?
Yes, women in modern world maybe much more than 100 or 200 years ago. And give birth to children, and bake buns, and lead huge companies. Here we are multifaceted, diligent and generally smart. It is more difficult for men, they are more “unidirectional” creatures - if you really work, then work for wear; if you rest, then until the full "position of the rhys"; if you indulge in despair, then to complete blackness. And in order to keep each other afloat, to help and support - God invented the family. A place where a woman must be wise and a man must be strong. In which we are looking for support, and our husbands - understanding. So let's be wise. And we will develop approximately such a plan of action.
1. When we are offered a highly paid job, we analyze how much time and effort it will take and how it will affect family life. WE CONSULT WITH THE HUSBAND HOW TO BE.
2. If at the family council you came to a mutual agreement that you need to agree, then say all the details, namely: financial, temporary, psychological. Do not be afraid to ask your husband a question: “Won’t you leave me, such a boss, by any chance?” Let him think now, and not in a year or two, when he has accumulated a lot of internal grievances.
3. Never transfer the tone and manners of communication BOSS-SUBORDINATE to the family. It is at work that you are the boss or mistress, at home you are the wife of your husband. Let him retain at least the illusion of dominance.
4. Let your husband take care of himself. Do not tell him: “Yes, you don’t have to come for me, the driver will take me from work.” He is following you to spend an extra half an hour or an hour with you, and you, it turns out, are pushing him away.
5. If you feel that tension has appeared in a relationship - do not be afraid to start a conversation first. Do not expect a man to speak himself, if he wants to save the relationship, he will be silent until the last. And when accusations against you suddenly pour out of it, it may already be too late.
In a world where gender equality rules and where women value their female emancipation, a man can be inferior in status to the fair sex. Some people are happy with this state of affairs, some are not. What to do if you find yourself in this delicate situation?
4 5 1 Jealousy is a painful feeling that devours a person from the inside. It can erase all the good that was between lovers and destroy relationships. And yet, some girls consider the phrase “Jealous means love” to be correct, but jealousy is a disease and selfishness that is not capable of love. How to deal with jealousy and whether it is necessary to do it at all, WANT.ua figured out. Awareness of the problem.
In any case, in a family where the husband earns less than his wife, there are often conflicts. Let us recall at least the scene from the movie “Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears”, where Georgy Ivanovich, having learned about the high position of his wife and her earnings, slammed the door because he was humiliated and received psychological trauma. In order not to be in the place of Katerina Tikhomirova and not be left without a man, WANT.ua will try to help you understand the situation and understand what to do after all.
Note. We will not take into account the classic lazy people who are satisfied with lying on the couch, they do not seek to change anything in their lives, and the high earnings of their wife do not depress them at all, but even please them.
Don't switch roles. When a man provided you financially, you equipped your home life, took care of children, cooked food. If the state of affairs has changed and now the financial security of the family is on your own, you should not shift household responsibilities to your husband (unless, of course, he himself takes care of everyday life or gets pissed at the root and treats you at the same time as a wallet and a servant). A normal man, who already does not like your financial superiority, will be oppressed by the role of a housewife imposed on him. He will feel worthless and will not be inspired for career exploits. It is better to be patient and carefully ask your lover for help with the housework, and not completely shoulder women's duties on him, otherwise he will feel like a recluse in the house.
Do not belittle his masculinity and dignity. He is already depressed by his condition, and you will constantly remind him that you earn more and he is not capable of anything. This state of affairs will piss anyone off. Even if your husband earns less than you, let him feel his need. He should feel like a protector, breadwinner and head of the family. Never seek to criticize him, humiliate, insult and reproach him for the fact that he cannot earn more than you, and you should not give him as an example the husbands of your girlfriends who were able to provide the family with financial well-being. Some people don’t tend to make money at all - well, they don’t succeed at all!
Financial decisions are on it. Even if, in this moment time you earn more, it's still worth asking your favorite advice about a particular purchase. Never say the phrase: "I earn more, so I will decide!". It's disgusting. You would definitely not want to hear such a phrase addressed to you. By the way, psychologists say that when a woman manages finances without the participation of a man, she loses her sexual attraction to him. Therefore, make a decision together with your spouse and do not go your own way. Another tip - do not hide the money you earn from your husband in your wallet. Let them be freely available, for example, in some box. And you do not need to require a full report on the funds spent.
Stay a woman. A man must feel his need, in otherwise, he will wither. You should not turn into a man in a skirt who can easily change a wheel on a car, hang a shelf, drag a refrigerator up to the seventh floor (although this is something from a series of science fiction). These men's tasks must be performed by the husband. You can specifically create small problems that a man can get and then there will be no scandals in your house. You can also take a break from your independence by letting your loved one take care of you completely.
Don't compare. Worst of all, men endure comparing them with someone. Even if your mutual friend recently received a promotion and a not bad increase in salary, you should not set him as an example to your husband. Firstly, he will only get angry, and secondly, even without you, he knows about the success of a friend and is internally worried. Competition can be a good incentive to earn money, but only without other people's reminders and reproaches.
Common cause. The ideal solution would be to engage in a common cause that will bring you together. Let him be the generator of ideas, and you be the implementer, or vice versa. It does not matter what kind of business it will be and whether it will generate income. You can start a renovation and give the man complete freedom of action and an unlimited budget. Or you can give him the choice of a place for the next vacation, or let him come up with an idea for a business. In general, there can be a lot of options for his stirring. The main thing is not to escalate the situation and not piss him off with your financial superiority.
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4 5 1 Jealousy is a painful feeling that devours a person from the inside. It can erase all the good that was between lovers and destroy relationships. And yet, some girls consider the phrase “Jealous means love” to be correct, but jealousy is a disease and selfishness that is not capable of love. How to deal with jealousy and whether it is necessary to do it at all, WANT.ua figured out. Awareness of the problem.
4 5 1 “Girlfriends or husband, husband or girlfriends?” - the question of every woman arises in her head when her closest people cannot get along with each other. What to do in such a situation, when there can be no place to refuse to communicate with friends, and the husband begins to cut a joyless face when Alla calls you again for advice? WANT.ua understands atypical jealousy and gives actionable advice.
Top 10 Qualities of an Ideal Wife
They say that the ideal husband is a man who believes that he has an ideal wife. What do men invest in the concept of "ideal"? Let's try to figure it out! A wife is a special status of a woman. It is in the family that a woman reveals herself, but at the same time, she can fade. Keeping a balance is the main task of a woman-wife. According to men, in order to be an ideal wife, a woman must have the following qualities. To love him Every man wants to be loved. He wants the feelings of his chosen one for him to be disinterested.
What does your husband really think about your mom? You will be surprised!
Forget everything you've ever heard about the relationship between husband and mother-in-law, the results of a new British (and what else!) Study will surprise you to say the least. Peter Hahn, an employee of the fashion industry, interviewed 1,500 Britons and found that more than half of them sympathize with their wives' mothers, a quarter consider them really attractive, and one in six of those surveyed said that he likes his mother-in-law more externally. own wife. Sounds a little strange, right? Further more.
Our health depends on happiness in marriage
Scientists believe that the more a husband and wife are satisfied with their marriage and with each other, the less often they get sick. Julia Korneva, healthy lifestyle expert, author of the project about healthy way life Live up! A successful marriage means fewer diseases. We all know that conflicts lead to an increase in stress levels for all participants. And long-term effects of stress on the body cause cardiovascular diseases, digestive problems, sleep disorders, loss of sexual desire and many other unpleasant things.
Ecology of life: One man will start to compete with his wife and climb up, the other will accept the situation and calmly spend her money, the third will fall into a neurosis from feeling his own uselessness and will drink, the fourth will find a “poorer” mistress, the fifth will demand to leave work ...
“One man will start to compete with his wife and climb up, another will accept the situation and calmly spend her money, the third will fall into a neurosis from feeling his own uselessness and will drink, the fourth will find a “poorer” mistress, the fifth will demand to leave work ... But what now, women not to earn and refuse a raise?
Image: Internet Archive of Book Illustrations, 1889
Probably, such thoughts as “if you are a real man, then you should earn more than me” or “if you could provide for me, I would be a good wife for you” are sitting deep in the subcortex. This “must earn” often leads to conflict.
I saw my friends in a cafe for the weekend. The conversation touched upon such a topic as the impact of income on relationships in a couple. An acquaintance expressed the idea that the greater the income of the wife in the family, the worse things are with her husband. A man ceases to feel like a man. In all senses.
In LiveJournal, the topic of female commercialism, dowry and kept women is constantly exaggerated. In reality, I see women earning on par with men or more than them. It is interesting to observe the relationship of spouses with an increase in income from the wife. Relationships change and not in favor of the family. Thoughts appear in my head about an equal contribution to the family boiler, but unequal household responsibilities. Therefore, the wife slowly begins to take off household duties from herself: dinners are bought ready-made in the culinary departments, cleaning can be entrusted to professionals (especially now it is relatively inexpensive), in some families homework husband does.
The wife is no longer so attentive to the words of her husband, commanding notes may appear in her voice. She feels more confident with every salary jump and step up the career ladder. Her self-confidence cannot but be reflected in her appearance. Eyes are burning, gait is confident, clothes are more expensive, self-care is better. Accordingly, she begins to attract men more than during periods of lack of money, flirting, fans appear, which means that the requirements for a man who is nearby are growing.
A husband evades his marital duty, a woman feels like a breadwinner and a parent to her husband, and what kind of intimate relationship can there be between a mother and a son? A woman can start looking around. If everything is traditional with moral principles, then fantasies will remain only fantasies, if not, adultery will happen.
When children appear at this moment, the situation improves: the wife again earns little, because she is on maternity leave, the husband is again the breadwinner, which necessarily has a good effect on his self-esteem. When there are no children, everything is different. I see one such family. They don't know about my blog, but I'll change the names just in case.
Christina married a guy from a wealthy family with an apartment. Started as a simple purchasing manager food products, and he organized parties, promoted glossy magazines, and then got a job as a trader in a financial company. A couple of years after the wedding, Artem decided to try to make big money on trading securities and just stopped working. I traded at home, it turned out badly ...
For two years now, he has not been working, because he does not want to work for his uncle, and there are no funds to open his own business. Christina was promoted to the head of the department of a large retail chain of the Russian Federation. Artem still does not work, but does not advertise it, hiding behind "work at home". Kristina periodically makes scandals, because Artem pays with her card for all his online purchases, but every time the scandal ends with the fact that “There is absolutely no place to work, Artem cannot find himself. He is so literate, controversial, it will be difficult for him to get along with an ordinary boss. They don’t have children, but from the side of Artem, Christina’s child ... She doesn’t consider him a man, rather, an unintelligent child ... Her friends do not comment on the situation, but deep down, we, of course, condemn Artem for inactivity and Christina for connivance . Someone else's family, their case, they will figure it out themselves ...
One man will start to compete with his wife and climb up, the other will accept the situation and calmly spend her money, the third will fall into a neurosis from feeling his own uselessness and will drink, the fourth will find a “poorer” mistress, the fifth will demand to leave work ... published
AT recent times quite often I observe families where the wife earns more than her husband. Moreover, men from these families have different attitudes to this state of affairs: some are trying to reverse this situation, while the latter are adapting. They take care of household chores, changing roles with their wife, or generally lying down on the sofa, so that it would be more convenient to spit on the ceiling.
If you look at all this through the eyes of an average woman, then everything is rather sad. No matter how it happened that her income suddenly began to seriously outnumber his. It does not matter who she is: a highly paid actress, an artist, a model or a banal director of SeverSouthEastWestPromBank, because sooner or later her respect for him will begin to melt before our eyes. Moreover, it is extremely difficult to influence this, because everything happens at the level of the subconscious and instincts: it’s normal that a female wants to raise her offspring next to a reliable male. Women are emotional creatures, thinking not with their heads, but often with these very instincts, which, thanks to the prevailing conditions, promise basically only disappointment and disrespect for the second half. After all, it is important for you to feel protected, not used, right? A drop in self-esteem, complexes, a decrease in sexual activity against the background of a feeling of inferiority - all this also threatens a man on an instinctive level in such a relationship. And do we need it?
But, again, this is an average view of a similar situation. By the way, I share it, I could not exist in such a relationship. I am old-fashioned, it is important for me to feel like a classic earner. As I have already said, it is comfortable for me to build a family according to the principle “my mother is beautiful, my father works”, I consider this model to be the only true one. The opposite situation would constantly hurt self-esteem and the male ego, interfering with healthy relationships within the couple. Although, probably, all this can be explained tritely by the fact that I like tender and feminine girls, whose priorities are family values, and not career advancement and a salary that can feed the whole family.
But my opinion is just my opinion, and experience shows that other options for the development of the situation are possible. There are people who do not care whose salary is higher. They simply take and distribute responsibilities around the house, everyday life ... She brings the main income to the family, he takes care of the house and children with pleasure, and everyone feels needed and loved. If a man is not offended by the status of “household owner”, and a woman is satisfied with everything in this, they have found a balance of fair exchange. Why not? True, it should be noted that this scheme only works if the wife really enjoys her work, and the husband really does not mind doing household chores, and does not do it because "it is necessary." It is very important for a woman to understand and always remember that a man should feel like a man, even if he has taken on traditionally feminine responsibilities. Leave him the opportunity to take the initiative, make decisions - give him a field for self-realization. Treat him as the head of the family, because you can and should respect your husband not only for his earnings. In no case do not transfer the tone and manner of communication of the boss-subordinate into the family. It is at work that you are the boss or mistress, at home you are the wife of your husband. Let him retain at least the illusion of dominance.
I also witnessed situations where a man who found himself in such conditions did not want to feel defeated and entered into a fight with his wife. For him, the high income of his woman is a kind of challenge, excitement. And here one single goal comes to the fore - to prove to her, to himself and to everyone around him that he is capable of a lot, that he is a real man, and not some kind of whining housekeeper. And all this leads to excessive workaholism and, as a result, the resolution of marriage. Because none of the spouses is paying attention to the relationship. But the most important thing is to maintain warm relations and peace in the family in any circumstances. With a wise approach, it does not matter at all who will become the earner and who will be the keeper. After all, when you get married, you just want to be happy.
In summary: the situation in each particular family is individual. Its outcome depends on many factors, but, in my opinion, first of all, on the psychotype of the personality of each of the spouses. I would like to give one, in general, universal advice, which is the best suited to today's topic: dear ladies, if you feel that tension has appeared in relations, do not be afraid to start a conversation first. Don't wait for the man to speak for himself. By nature, in most cases, we are arranged in such a way that if we want to maintain relations, we will be silent to the last. And when, after a long silence, it suddenly breaks through, accusations and claims against you will pour in a hail of accusations - most likely, it will be too late ...