My own mother hates me. I hate my mother: what should I do? I hate my mother what should I do?

If you hate your mother, then there is a problem is deeply psychological in nature.

The question has arisen - how to get rid of hatred towards your mother - pay attention to the advice of psychologists.

What is dead mother syndrome and how to deal with it? Find out about this from ours.

Mother-tyrant, monster: psychological portrait

Unfortunately, the mother is a tyrant - the phenomenon is not so rare.

Everyone suffers from this - husband, child and herself.

Negative attitudes primarily affect children.

Signs that a mother is a tyrant:

Living with such a woman is unbearable. Children, as a rule, grow up with low levels of self-esteem and are dependent on the opinions of their parents. It is difficult for them to navigate through life, since they are used to having everything decided for them.

At the same time, the mother can be a tyrant all the time dissatisfied with the progress of your child, what heights he did not reach.

They make very good people who rarely accept their daughter-in-law and seek to destroy her connection with her son.

The tyrant mother also has a set of her own. She tries to control her loved ones due to internal uncertainty.

Failures in her personal life and career lead to her trying to realize himself in the family and take at least some position.

The need to control everything causes internal tension and dissatisfaction, since loved ones resist tyranny.

At the same time, the woman does not understand why the children do not want to obey her, avoid contact, and then strive to leave the family as quickly as possible.

Why does she hate me?

To understand why this happens, It's worth exploring a woman's past. The children are not at all to blame for the fact that she hates them. It is likely that she had unwanted pregnancy, the child's father abandoned her.

Hate can be one of the symptoms of fatigue. It also develops when life is full of failures and a person blames other people for this.

Reasons for hatred:

To say “I hate you” in the heat of a quarrel does not mean actually feeling hatred.

But if such behavior is observed regularly along with accusations and aggressive actions, then we can talk about hatred.

What to do with maternal hatred?

What to do if your mom hates you? First of all do not give in to provocations, try not to incite conflict. The mother is looking for confirmation of her emotions - my child is bad.

At the same time don't try to prove anything, achieve success only for the sake of the mother. You will have to understand that you are not responsible for her life, she is an independent person.

You do not control her emotions, the internal state of discomfort that she constantly experiences.

However, they are capable learn to resolve conflict using various psychological techniques.

You should try to learn to communicate with such a parent as calmly as possible, without reacting to her screams and provocations.

Learn patiently prove your rightness.

People with a soft character It's hard to get along with a tyrant. Therefore, it is necessary to be able to stand up for yourself, but without inciting conflict, but patiently explaining your point of view.

It is difficult for a tyrant mother to accept that sooner or later the children leave home, and that this happens through her fault, since living nearby becomes unbearable.

But for adult children themselves, most often it is the best option- start your own life.

What to do if you feel your mother's hatred:

• be patient;
• remain calm, do not shout back - this will lead to an even stronger negative reaction and protracted conflicts;
• if you have already grown up, then find separate housing;
• tell your mother that you have the right to choose and she will have to accept it;
• learn to make independent decisions;
• try to calm your feelings, stop negative thoughts towards your mother.

Show your parent your autonomy- You now act on your own, solve any of your issues.

Of course, you can sometimes ask her for advice.

The tyrant mother will disagree in every possible way with your desire to be independent from her, but you'll have to stand your ground and don't give up your position.

Mom pisses me off and annoys me: reasons

The mother has developed her own stereotype of behavior, and it does not always correspond to the expectations of other people. If she has a dominant character, then he tries in every possible way to impose his will on everyone around him.

This causes irritation, since any person strives to make decisions himself and have his own opinion. You trying to resist her attempts to control, but this causes an even stronger response in her - it’s difficult for her to accept that you stop obeying her.

Irritation may arise due to differences in temperaments. For example, you are a nervous melancholic person, prone to fears, mood swings and doubts. And the mother is a bright choleric person, constantly active, on the move.

Why do I hate my mother? If there is no emotional connection with the child, this affects your future relationship with them. It should be formed in childhood, ideally from infancy. Did you feel maternal love or, on the contrary, did you feel coldness and indifference?

You may hate mom because she seeks complete control over your life, while you want to be independent.

The desire for independence is a natural need of an adult personality.

You may hate your mother because she paid little attention to you as a child and mostly took care of herself rather than the child.

Analyze your life, childhood years - how your relationship with your parents developed, who raised you more.

It also matters what emotions other relatives invested in you. Unfortunately, it happens that, for example, mother-in-law hating daughter-in-law, explicitly or subconsciously seeks to pass on this attitude to his grandchildren.

Have there been times in your life when you were taught how you should treat your mother?

How to get rid of hatred towards your mother?

Hatred towards the mother interferes with the normal formation of relationships with other people. This brings discord into family ties.

Irritation and hatred also affect your mental condition, so we need to find ways to get rid of this negative feeling.

How to do it?

Hatred towards mother is a negative feeling that will later will affect your attitude towards your own children. It is for this reason that it is worth paying attention to the problem.

Hatred towards mother (father), unexpressed feelings towards a parent:

Question from Natalia, Krasnodar:

And if you want to kill your mother, what should you do?

Answered by Tatyana Sosnovskaya, teacher, psychologist:

Hello, Natasha!

Such thoughts arise from despair. You feel very bad and you blame your mother for it. Often those closest to us hurt us more than our sworn enemies. Perhaps you feel severe resentment, feel that your mother is treating you unfairly, causing pain through misunderstanding, through her words and actions. Unfortunately, you are not the only one in this situation.

Unfortunately, very often extremely negative feelings, even hatred, arise between parents and children. Parents hate their children because they do not live up to their expectations, do not obey and do what they want.

Children hate their parents for slightly different reasons. According to system-vector psychology Yuri Burlan, the main condition for the full development of a child, and therefore the ability to feel joy in life, is the feeling of safety and security that he receives directly from the mother.

There may be little food or toys, poor conditions or poor health, but if the child feels that he is safe with his mother, that his mother is calm and will always protect him, then his psyche develops normally. He grows, masters new skills, knowledge and territories. Gradually preparing to break away from his parents and go into adult life, independently providing themselves with a sense of security and safety.

If a mother screams, hits, or lashes out at her child all the time, then the child does not feel this basic, vital feeling. It’s even worse when the mother does not understand the nature of her child’s mental structure and begins to make impossible demands on him. For example, constantly tugging at a leisurely representative of the anal vector, or, even worse, disgracing him in front of friends. Or screaming into the ears of a sonic child, making it impossible to concentrate.

Why does mom do this?

Firstly, because he perceives the child through himself, that is, he does not understand the difference in properties, does not understand his characteristics and needs. And he does exactly the opposite of what the child needs: he yells at the sound guy, he hurries the anal guy, he hits the skin guy, he scares the audience. She doesn’t intentionally make him feel bad: she just doesn’t know the best options.

And secondly, because she herself feels bad. It’s bad for various reasons: an unhappy childhood, an unfulfilled relationship with her husband, unfulfillment. Without a feeling of safety and security inside, the mother cannot convey this feeling to the child. On the contrary, without wanting it, she dumps her bad states, fears, and frustrations on him.

What happens to the child?

Losing a sense of security, receiving psychological trauma, the child is not able to develop normally, he cannot learn to receive a feeling of satisfaction from the use of his natural properties, and the formation of the skills and abilities necessary for adult life is disrupted. Growing up, the child is not able to take full responsibility for his life and now, in turn, accumulates serious conditions and frustrations. When we feel bad, we hate...

It is especially difficult for children with a sound vector. Screams and humiliation of parents hit the most sensitive place of the sound player. And he, capable of perceiving the subtlest sounds, withdraws into himself in order to protect his psyche from this shock. His ability to contact the outside world is rapidly declining.

The sound person is little concerned about material things, he is focused on his internal states, after all, his task is to reveal the meaning of life, the unconscious nature of man. He can do this only by maintaining adequate contact with the outside world. Withdrawal into oneself is always, sooner or later, accompanied by depression - this is the most difficult condition that a person cannot cope with alone.

In sound there is no value of the body; on the contrary, there is a feeling that I am my soul, and the body is like an appendage, like a disturbing element, chaining the sound artist to this hateful, painful world. Therefore, the hatred that arises in a state of depression is often aimed at destroying the bodies of both one’s own and others. Often such thoughts are facilitated by the presence of an anal vector in a state of severe resentment towards the mother and the world.

When we feel good, we don't hate

What is important is that the occurrence of these conditions is natural, but this is not a death sentence. Having found the cause of their occurrence, we are able to neutralize the most severe conditions. Hatred and the desire for death for another goes away when we find support within ourselves, realize our real desires and understand how to fill them. This is evidenced by many reviews from sound workers who have experienced similar difficult conditions, but managed to regain the meaning of life and the ability to enjoy it.

Understand the reasons for behavior own parents, forgive childhood grievances, throw off the heavy burden of negative relationships - all these problems can be solved by training in system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan.

The article was written using training materials on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan.

Tatyana Sosnovskaya, teacher, psychologist

Chapter:

There is a stereotype that the relationship between mother and child can be extremely trusting and tender. In fact, the feelings of a parent and her child directly depend on how close family members have been throughout life. It depends on how much their views and aspirations coincide.

So, what should I do if I hate my mother, and is there any way to overcome this negative feeling?

Causes of strained mother-child relationships

Hatred towards a mother never appears just like that, because we are talking about the relationship between the people closest to each other. What reasons usually stimulate this problem?

There can be a lot of reasons. Psychologists emphasize that such a negative feeling cannot appear in one day. Usually it is fueled for years from family conflicts, frequent quarrels between parent and child.

If a mother rarely treats her baby from childhood, is not interested in his successes, but at the same time imposes constant restrictions, hatred will certainly arise.

As adults, many parents begin to conflict with their children because their views on their lives simply do not coincide. Perhaps the mother saw her daughter as a great doctor, and she chose a creative profession. Or the son suddenly fell in love with a woman who is much older than him and refuses to listen to his mother. The discrepancy between the plans of parents and the actions of their grown-up children very often gives rise to quarrels and conflicts.

What to do if an adult daughter hates her mother , It's quite difficult to say. Usually psychologists advise first getting to the bottom of the cause of what happened, and only then taking on the destruction of the conflict. It is impossible to give unambiguous advice on how to resolve such a conflict, since everything here depends purely on the situation.

How to deal with the problem

What should I do if I really hate my mother? This is a question many people face. Often we are talking about elementary teenage rebellion, when a child thinks that no one around him understands him.

However, if over time the negativity only gets stronger, and the person himself experiences mental pain in connection with this, he has to look for ways to resolve the conflict.

Here are just a few ways to help overcome the hatred that arises:

The first and, perhaps, the most important advice that can be given in such a situation is not to forget about communication. Often, due to negative feelings, people simply stop seeing each other, lose contact, and eventually become strangers to each other. If this happens, hatred only grows and gets stronger.

You should at least sometimes listen to your mother’s criticism. Why does she speak this way and not otherwise? What is the reason for her constant dissatisfaction? Perhaps the parent is simply trying to make her child’s life better, but he himself is hostile to any help.

What should I do: I hate my mother and she doesn’t love me? Often this question arises due to negativity on both sides. May be. Is it not only the parent who is to blame for the conflict? What if the child himself sometimes behaves in a way that causes exclusively negative emotions? If a person tries to rationally look at himself, his life and the source of the conflict, he will definitely find a way to resolve it.

Often people cannot find a way out difficult situation, and therefore turn to a psychologist. The specialist’s answer to the question of what to do is always clear: you need to talk. Plan a vacation with your mom or make it a habit to go shopping weekly. If relatives have hardly communicated before, it will be difficult for them at first. But then you can get real pleasure from contact with your mother.

What other advice do psychologists give in such a difficult situation?

Often a psychologist hears the following: “I hate my mother and cannot communicate with her.” However, it is the lack of verbal and tactile contact that gives rise to another conflict in the family. You need to try until the last minute to establish a relationship with your parent, because you will no longer have another mother.

There are times when children's negative feelings are completely justified. If a parent is addicted to bad habits, prone to violence, or indifferent to her child, it is difficult to put up with this. However, remember that with anger you are only denigrating your heart.

Consequences of conflicts between child and mother

Family psychologists never tire of repeating how important the relationship between a mother and her child is. A person’s self-confidence and his future successes in his personal life often depend on the level of home warmth. What are the consequences of such hatred?

1. It may be difficult for the child to find mutual language with your own children.
2. Due to the lack of maternal support and her eternal criticism, a person develops unnecessary complexes.
3. Often conflicts with the mother result in the child, in principle, being unable to love and build relationships.
4. Conflicts in the family often become a stimulus for increased aggressiveness in life.
5. Due to strained relationships with the closest and dearest person, the child may develop bad habits in the future.

Psychologists have repeatedly been able to establish that a person’s problems often come from the family. Inability to build long-term relationships, conflicts with one's own children, career failures - all this gives rise to enmity with the mother.

Moreover, the person himself may not think about how much his complexes are connected with this enmity. This is why it is so important to sometimes talk to a specialist and explain how and when the complexes arose.

Of course, it is simply impossible to resolve a long-term conflict with a parent in one evening over a cup of tea. This is a long process that involves a constant struggle with one’s own inner demons. Moreover, the initiative must come from both sides. Both mother and her child must realize how important this relationship is for them and make concessions.

Over time, the situation should normalize. However, if relatives continue to develop complexes, the situation should be studied in more detail. Perhaps the mother’s aggressiveness has long roots and is connected with her personal problems in childhood, with grievances once hidden in the depths of her heart.

One way or another, the situation cannot be left unresolved. Mother and child should always communicate, because nothing in the world can replace such warmth, spiritual and physical. Listen to your mother’s advice, try to forget about the old enmity and the conflict will resolve itself.

Elena, Astrakhan

Thematic table of contents - Women's (women's)

There was a post in the Top from the plohie_roditeli community. For some reason, you can’t not only comment on it, but also read it outside the Top.
« Hello! I also decided to write to you. I found myself in a rather unpleasant situation, and somehow I can’t get out of it.
I am already an adult woman, now I live with my mother. My mother diligently blows my mind, trying to portray me as weak, stupid, incompetent, and so on...
The methods are as follows: I recently got ready to have my urine tested, sorry. I got up in the morning, got ready, the jar with the tests is in the bathroom. The mother wakes up, goes into the bathroom and says:
“Are you going to get tested?” I say, "Uh-huh." She says: “Why so much? They don’t need so much.” I say, “Did I ask your opinion? If it’s necessary, then I’ll ask. If there’s a lot, they’ll pour it out.” And she says: “Do you know that the buses have been cancelled?” (implying that I woke up late and now won’t make it in time). I say: “If I want to know something from you, I’ll ask. I'm not asking now."
I'm leaving. I'm shaking. Some kind of nonsense begins in my head. At this moment I really don’t know if I did everything right. And the question of the number of tests grows as big as a mountain and is no more important now. And I think that the nurses there will think, and I think that suddenly I won’t make it on time for the bus and in general there are no longer thoughts in my head, but some kind of wordless anxiety and uncertainty.
Naturally, I have time everywhere.
And today I go to the hospital, and she says: “Did you take the insurance policy?” I say: “No, I didn’t take it. And I forgot to take the brains. And I forgot to ask you.” And she says: “So many words! I just asked!” And he goes off to be offended until the evening. And again I manage to feel guilty, although I’m trying to sort it all out, but I feel guilty and again the same anxiety. And I also feel unwilling to do anything. Go somewhere, get treatment, do something. And I start everything again...
And the worst thing is, I start having obsessive thoughts. I want to check many times whether I took everything. Moreover, checking does not help, I am not convinced that everything is in order and continue to check. I want to check if my policy, phone, passport, this and that are in place... I restrain myself with an effort of will, but I really want to check and check.
I would really like to live separately from her, but now I can’t. I also have a MCH, with whom there are constant scandals because of his nagging. As soon as I come to my senses from these scandals, MCH starts a new scandal. The result is this crazy situation:
I go to MCH, live with him for several days, he finds fault and makes trouble, I can’t stand it, I go to my mother, live with her for several days, trying not to contact her if possible (I have a separate room there), she is with me every day After spending time at home, he becomes more and more furious, digs deeper and deeper... I make peace with MCH and go to him. And then the cycle repeats.
In general, as in that joke, I don’t want to live anywhere, I like it on the bus.
As a result of this crazy situation, I have absolutely no strength. Because these forces are spent either on driving my mother away from me, who is desperately yearning to take a sip from me, at least a sip, or another drop, well, a liter or two of my blood, or on explaining to MCH that I will do what I do what I want... and my strength is wasted again, because MCH is intensely squeezing out of me what he wants.
I have neither the strength nor the desires, I am plagued by obsessive thoughts and I cannot force myself to crawl out of this situation. I have health and money problems and I have absolutely no strength to solve them. The advantages of MCH are that in any conflict with my mother he takes my side, supports me, pulls me out of the state into which communication with my mother drives me. But I can’t recover; as soon as I begin to more or less calm down, MCH “takes me out” on its own.
This is such an ambush. I understand that people with more serious problems write to the community. But, I also need your help, advice and support. I would like to learn how to react to my mother more sensibly. Maybe you can advise me how to do this.
I have a heightened sensitivity to criticism now. I get tons of criticism, either from my mother or from MCH. Therefore, I really ask the respected community not to criticize me. Thank you».

The unknown author asks her not to criticize her, but then why did she write?
It is difficult to understand why a girl lives with her mother, whom she hates so much. If the relationship has deteriorated so bad, then it cannot be fixed.
Who is to blame here, mother or daughter? From the outside it seems to me that the daughter makes a molehill out of a molehill, is hysterical for no reason, and behaves rudely. After all, what was so scary about her mother asking her? Common questions.
The daughter thinks that her mother is asking them to lower her self-esteem. But you can also be touched: “Wow, how much mommy worries about me!” Considers me small. It’s so rejuvenating!”
Why isn’t the daughter moved? She probably really is absent-minded, forgets something, does things wrong. But who doesn't it happen to? And then there are just uncollected people. The difference is in the attitude towards your mistakes. You can admit that you are a bungler and come to terms with it. Or you can be furious and desperate with yourself all the time, and also try to transfer these feelings to others, because it is impossible to constantly hate yourself. Attacks of self-hatred are replaced by attacks of hatred towards others.
How is such an attitude towards oneself formed? Hard to say. Perhaps an overly demanding and critical mother is to blame, or perhaps there are children for whom any, even the most necessary, comments are harmful.
As for the mother, since the daughter is obviously not quite herself, then everything cannot be all right with her. Apparently, she cannot change her mind and behave differently. Obviously, it seems to her that she is doing what is best, that if she does not remind her daughter of something, then she will get into trouble. She believes that she is doing her duty. In addition, she is probably lonely, and even though such communication, when she is sent all the time, is still communication and better than loneliness.
I'm sorry about the mother, of course, but what can you do? In any case, the relationship between these people is ruined forever. In such a situation, you need to go your separate ways by any means.
In general, plohie_roditeli is a very scary community. There's so much hate there, it's amazing. The Internet has brought out so much of the dark and hidden. It's a shame he didn't bring out as much light for balance.

All men, expecting their first child, dream of an heir, while women dream of a daughter. Every young mother of a little girl thinks: “When the baby grows up, we’ll be best friends.” But why does an adult girl often conflict with her mother? And why do many women, at an appointment with a psychologist or in a confidential conversation in the kitchen over a cup of coffee, admit: “I hate my mother”?

Why do mother and daughter become enemies?

How does it happen that the two closest women turn their backs on each other? The main complaints of adult girls against their mother are usually the following:

1) “She annoys me with her stupidity, as if I were older and more experienced, and not vice versa!”

Often this phrase can be used to characterize the conflict of generations. The large age difference is a prerequisite for the fact that the daughter is more modern and better aware of current realities. At the same time, the mother was raised in a different time, has absorbed different principles and views, and it is difficult for her to follow new trends. Regular clashes occur on this basis. The mother does not understand her daughter at all and tries to impose her views on her, but the daughter considers her “behind the times.”

2) “Because of her, I never got married!”

Such a complaint can be heard from the lips of a girl who was overly patronized and protected. As a result, all her friends have long since created their own families, but she still sits at home - her mother’s good girl, who at the age of 30 has never learned to live “like an adult.”

3) “I hate my mother, she manipulates me. Doesn’t give me life!”

It also happens that an elderly woman does not want to let her daughter go. This happens for many reasons - fear of old age, “empty nest”, lonely life... Then all possible manipulations are used - from health problems to threats to disinherit an apartment, etc.

4) “My mother is a tyrant.”

Psychological violence in the family is not such a new thing. They just don’t pay as much attention to this phenomenon as to the physical one. And it’s strange to talk about this in our society, the mentality takes its toll. Meanwhile, the victim becomes dependent on moral pressure, plus an instilled sense of guilt constantly suggests that she may be wrong.

5) “I hate my mother, she never loved me.”

Many of us carry childhood grievances with us into adulthood. Parents work a lot and do not always have time to notice how their child is growing in their attempts to earn a living. Later they try to catch up, but contact, which was never really established at the time, is not so easy to restore. And the daughter angrily rejects her mother’s attempts to get closer, because in childhood she needed this most of all. And now - why?

Another serious reason for hatred of the mother can be physical violence and bullying from the latter. Even if this is not happening now, it is difficult to love a person from whom you received beatings and moral humiliation as a child. But you need to work through this situation with a psychologist. Any negativity destroys from the inside, so it’s worth throwing it out and leaving it in the past.

Common territory – different views

Two housewives cannot live in one kitchen, and two adult women cannot live in one house. If there is no male father in the family, mother and daughter often conflict. There are several reasons for this:

1. Jealousy of someone else's personal life.

If a girl has a boyfriend, her mother begins to lecture her, telling her that she is doing the wrong thing and behaving ugly, constantly making jokes and remarks. This is how dissatisfaction with one’s unfulfilled life manifests itself. After all, the daughter has just blossomed and she may have many more such guys, but on the personal front the mother has a pause, which is unknown how long it will last.

The same jealousy is possible on the part of the daughter. When she, young, has no one, and her mother gets herself a gentleman. In addition, it may be unpleasant for a girl that another man takes her father’s place, and she begins to plot intrigues and provoke conflicts.

1. Divide and rule!

Each adult woman their views on housekeeping and order in the house. And it may happen that the grown daughter does not agree with her mother’s opinion on this matter and does not want to live by her rules. A division of territory begins, which ends with both women incredibly annoying each other and simply cannot be around each other.

An adult daughter hates her mother because she constantly tells her what to do in a given situation. What to do? Well, you certainly shouldn’t start prying into your mother’s life and telling her what she’s doing wrong!

1. Age conflict.

If the girl is a late child, and the age difference between mother and daughter is large, then everything is clear. Well, where do common interests come from? Only in rare cases can the difference of 35–40 years be leveled out if the mother is modern woman with a broad outlook.

1. Rivals.

There is also an age conflict here, but “on the contrary.” A young mother and an adult daughter can see each other as rivals. A girl may be irritated by her mother’s great financial wealth and leadership in the family. And a woman can see in her daughter’s face a reflection of herself at 17–20 years old, feel longing for that time and, perhaps, pangs of envy.

In two-parent families, mother and daughter can fight for the love of their father and be jealous of each other. On this basis, conflicts arise and both girls - the little one and the big one - race to their daddy to “tell the truth.” Such situations are not uncommon, because for a girl, a father is the first example of a man, a “standard”, a prototype of a future husband. Therefore, she will be jealous of his mother, and the latter, in turn, will be angry for disobedience and subconsciously try to “win back” her position .

How to return peace to the family?

Are you worried about the question: “I hate my mother, what should I do?” It's time to take the first steps forward and make an attempt to return peace to the family! And you need to start with yourself.

Accusation and acquittal

Choose a free evening, turn off your phone, TV, let nothing distract you. On a piece of paper, write down all your complaints against your mother. Why do you feel negative towards her, what did she do wrong to you? Fill out the first column this way. On the contrary, in the second column, try to justify her every action. Try with all your heart to understand her. It’s not easy sometimes, but you’re already a grown girl, aren’t you? Put yourself in your mother’s shoes, has it always been easy for her?

The following table clearly shows how this can be done.

Accusation	Justification
She did not pay enough attention to me as a child and was indifferent to my problems...	...This is because she was unhappy in her marriage and was trying her best to “stick together” her failed personal life.
She raised her hand to me, screamed, took it out on me, and I was small and couldn’t defend myself...	...This happened for the reason that she worked very hard and did not see anything good - no dresses, no travel, so she was not a loving mother. After all, she herself was unloved and unhappy.
She has problems with alcohol, and this makes me suffer...	...But I forgive her for her weakness, because she is a living person, and not everyone has the strength to fight their vices.

Using this principle, analyze all the reasons for your anger towards your mother. Forgive her for her stupidity, old age, erratic hormones, connections with men, attempts to manipulate you and keep you in the “family nest” - after all, this is nothing more than a fear of loneliness. Understand that she never wished you harm, but simply wanted to be happy. Whatever she does, put on her “coat” and feel yourself in her place, try to understand her thoughts and emotions.

After this, write a letter to your mother in which you forgive her. Let it be a kind of “not guilty”, make a paper airplane out of it and fly it out the window...

Conciliatory dinner

Invite your mother to a picnic and have a heart-to-heart talk. Prepare her favorite food and drinks, and give her a small gift. First ask for forgiveness. You are already an adult, so you shouldn’t hide behind the grimace of a little offended girl. Ask what she doesn’t like about you, why they don’t get along Lately relationship?

Be polite and friendly towards your mother, open your arms for her, let her into your heart. After all, this woman gave you life, her genes, and taught you to speak your first words. Thanks to her you see this beautiful world! So say thank you and forgive her for everything that happened before.

How to build relationships further?

First of all, you need to admit that you have grown up and internally separate from your mother. Her life is her rules, and yours, accordingly, concerns only you. Adults do not have to sharply prove that they are right. Don't get into conflict with your mom when she wants to give advice. It’s the child inside you screaming: “Leave me alone, I’m already an adult!” But a truly adult person will calmly thank you, take something into account, but act only as he sees fit.

To overcome your hatred of your mother and avoid conflicts in the future, learn not to violate each other’s personal boundaries. It may be worth contacting a family psychologist for advice so that peace and understanding can reign between you!

Alisa, Moscow