How men feel about obsessive women. Why do women force themselves on men? Fill all the space in a relationship

For many girls, a man is not a new acquaintance or just an interesting person, but a walking solution to all problems - from material to everyday ones. You have barely met, and you have already figured out how much he can give you: married friends will no longer terrorize you with questions, your parents will be indescribably delighted, the kitchen faucet will not leak, and it will become easier to repay the loan. Of course, we are not necessarily talking about pure pragmatism: perhaps a new novel promises you an imaginary deliverance from your complexes, because many girls believe that the only proof of their attractiveness and femininity is the presence of a boyfriend.

Where it leads

The reason for your obsession is that he is your arch-principal. After all, a new life is at stake, which becomes real only with the appearance of a man in your house.

All thoughts and actions begin to revolve around him, and he behaves passively. After all, for him you are just an interesting acquaintance, an object of love, and not a complete deliverance from life’s troubles.

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Separate the proverbial flies from the cutlets: a man is one thing, but problems are another. And only those women who know how to solve their difficulties themselves receive true love without unnecessary impurities as a reward.

Rejection of your life

Often we become fixated on a man because we do not live fully. “Leaving” for love is easier than solving personal problems, of which there are a great many. A man can become for you an alternative to creative self-realization (“I didn’t succeed in my profession, so I need to get married”). For many young girls, marriage is a way to leave their parents' home, where they have not had the best life. peaceful relations with dad and mom.

Love for us is a kind of medicine with a placebo effect. Having accepted it, we forget about difficulties, because we are overwhelmed by a wave of emotions that overshadows negative feelings.

The result is like with alcohol: problems do not go away, but new ones arise - a man, as a rule, refuses to take on the role of a “switch”.

Where it leads

You live from call to call, from meeting to meeting. You are offended that he can calmly eat, drink and work without thinking about you every moment. In order not to turn into an obsessive fan for him, start solving your problems. Confident girls are more often noticed.

The unpredictability of love

You are a strong personality, and many things in life are under your control. For example, the amount of money in your account depends on your actions; in everyday life you can only rely on yourself. But in love this law does not work - it is connected with the will of another person, which you cannot control. You are not able to make a man act according to your scenario.

But for some reason you don’t accept this reality. It seems that the more energy you spend and actions you take, the more successful your personal life will be - as if we were talking about a major business project.

Hello, dear readers! The eternal question of the struggle between a man and a woman is who should take the initiative and call first. Today I want to talk about whether it is necessary to remind a man about himself, how to do it competently and not become another obsessive fan. In addition, we will talk to you about why guys don’t dial the number themselves and take the initiative.

Why doesn't the man call first?

John Gray's book Men are from Mars, women are from Venus"made a splash in the psychology of relationships. Explain in simple and understandable language why we so often do not understand each other and why we have conflicts. If you want to become a real relationship guru, then you cannot do without this book.

Now let's try to understand what prevents the feather guy from calling and reminding him of himself. The first and quite common reason is that he simply is not interested in you. Yes, it’s hard, offensive and painful to realize this. But it happens that you simply didn’t like the girl. And since he doesn’t know how to say it casually, he just . In this case, reminders about yourself will be extremely inappropriate.

Another option is that he liked you too much and now he is selling himself too much. Like, let her run after me and be afraid of losing me. Whether it is worth connecting your life with such a gentleman is up to you to decide. But a man who cannot sincerely and directly say about his sympathy is no longer worthy of trust.

He has a girlfriend, and your meeting was just a passing hobby. In this case, there is nothing to even think about and there is no need to remind yourself in any way. Even if you are thinking of writing him an angry SMS, expressing all your resentment, believe me, it is not worth it.

How to get him interested

But you can remind yourself beautifully and correctly. How? The most ancient way is to send him an SMS that was supposedly intended for someone else. First, think carefully about what to write. Secondly, this method can only be used once. If you constantly send him such “erroneous” SMS, then the reception will not work.

Use social media. Post your photos from various meetings where you are surrounded by young people, happy, contented, with sparkling eyes and a charming smile. No such photos? Go for a walk with a friend and ask her to take some photos. He needs to see that your life is going on as usual, that you are not sitting at home waiting for his calls. This is a very powerful incentive for guys.

Don't answer his call one time. Or don't respond to the message for a while. And then just say you were busy. In the article “How to make your husband jealous” you can find a huge number of similar techniques that will allow you.

Remember, there is no point in imposing yourself on a man. If he doesn’t call first, doesn’t write or doesn’t show initiative, then most likely you won’t have any relationship with him. A guy who really likes you will definitely find time to talk to you and invite you on the next date.

If you cannot sit still and constantly reach for the telephone receiver to dial the treasured number, then I have one simple solution for you: set yourself a task - no more than one call every two/three days. And don’t call more often, no matter how much you want to. Have patience, love and appreciate yourself. And then there will definitely be a suitor with whom you will not have to resort to such techniques in order to win his attention.

If you feel like you can’t cope or can’t find answers to some very important questions for you and are afraid that they will torment you for too long, sign up for a Skype consultation with me.

What do you think men are most afraid of? serious relationship? Why, after a great date, does the gentleman disappear and not make himself known? Do you have any special tricks to get a guy interested?

It’s not for nothing that they say that in order to hold, you need to let go.

The relationship between two close people is always like an endless ocean. In the morning, the sun is shining on the horizon and there is complete calm, but in the afternoon a hurricane begins, which can destroy the strongest couples. Cracks in relationships occur for many reasons, but an undeniable gap between two people can be created by excessive intrusiveness of one of the parties. No one wants to allow complete control over their feelings, time, and personal space. Obsession in relationships often ends in separation.

Female obsession

A woman's obsession is perceived by a man as bad upbringing or easy behavior. By playing with a man with excessive attention and imposing herself on all occasions and for any reason, a woman seems to be saying that she is available. But it is the “forbidden fruit” that is sweet, and not the one that offers itself in all situations.

Obsessiveness at the dating stage is also fraught with a break in relationships. No man can withstand a continuous barrage of calls, demands for increased attention to himself, as well as control and reporting of the hours that the couple spent apart.

Another form of obsession is when a woman tries to keep her lover “on a short leash.” This is a dangerous game and, as a rule, it ends in separation. After all, it is freedom that a man values ​​most. Even if you are married, a man wants to feel free. We, women, do not have the right to demand an account from him: “why he was late at work,” or not to let him go on weekends with a male company. Obsession manifests itself unnoticed only by the one who manipulates it, and for the other half it is an unbearable burden.

How to check whether you are obsessive towards your loved one: you dialed your loved one’s number, but he turned out to be busy and said that he would call back when he was free. If you are free, then you just wait for his call. If obsessiveness is inherent in your character, then you will dial the number of a person close to you several more times in order to find out if he is free.

Male obsession

In men, this quality manifests itself much less frequently than in women. Most often, a man can show his obsession in those moments when he is caring for a girl, seeking her favor, and much less often in marital relationships.

The main problem of an obsessive man is self-doubt and weak self-esteem. A man is not sure that he is worthy of attention from a woman, and all he decides to do is to act relentlessly. However, it is precisely this persistence that scares many girls. Such a man needs to be able to, after pleasant surprise, which he presented to the lady of his heart, disappear for a while. Then your next appearance on the horizon of a relationship will be desirable for the lady.

What to do if there are symptoms of obsessive behavior?

Calm down. You cannot force a person to love you more, take care of you, or give you more attention.

Switch from your desires to the desires of your partner. Don't stop him from being alone when he wants it. Make a list of situations where you are overly imposing, controlling or trying to take up all of your partner's time. Try to do the opposite. For example: wait for initiative from your partner, in phone calls, in dinner invitations.

An excellent solution would be to spend the weekend with your friends and let your lover know that you can have fun and have fun without him. Just after all this, don’t ask him what your other half did all weekend.

Give your love, rather than demand it in return, and then you will never be intrusive towards your other half.

Often women make the same fatal mistake in relationships. As soon as they get more or less worthy man, in the very first weeks of their acquaintance they share their secrets with him. Both young ladies and married ladies are guilty of this. And the worst crime is female obsession and constant demands. A man constantly hears something like the following message from an obsessive girl: “You must do what I want.”

Naturally, when two people live together for several years, they become close. It is not difficult for them to do something good for each other, but this comes through the thorny years of a long life together. And even such intimacy is achieved only if the woman is cunning enough. Possessing a certain measure of feminine wisdom, she does not transform these relationships into family relationships, in which the spouse usually begins to be perceived as a sister or a caring mother.

Women's availability: the scourge of relationships

Men are creatures who are intimidated by the excessive assertiveness of women. But often a woman spoils relationships with her own hands. It often happens that two people spend the night together, and gradually the girl begins to slowly move her little things into his house - slippers, shampoos. But who asked her about this? With this line of behavior she only once again emphasizes her availability.

The vast majority of men simply cannot stand women’s attempts to control them:

• they are annoyed by the question “What are you thinking about?”, since in fact, at any given moment in time they can think about anything;
• the question “Who called?” - from the same category. After all, a call can come from anyone, and if necessary, the man will definitely inform the girl about it;
• and the leader of annoying questions - “Do you love me?” According to most men, confessing your feelings every minute is not at all a sign of true love.

One day, one girl got a tattoo on her arm depicting her boyfriend’s initials. To this he told her directly that he considered this complete nonsense. Their relationship, as expected, was short-lived. And after some time she had to write these letters. However, who can say for sure that in the next relationship she will not repeat such stupidity?

Why does a man need freedom?

The problem of female obsession is very common. Each partner needs a different amount of communication, but women tend to be more intrusive. Beautiful ladies They don’t realize that a man often needs to be alone not only to delineate and “take a break” from a woman. This is also necessary in order to dream about her again in her absence. After all, it is precisely in such moments that the opportunity arises to experience the most powerful experiences of love and affection. If a man feels the need for separation, then it will only serve to strengthen the relationship.

And this desire in no way indicates that he does not experience love. It’s just that sometimes a man needs to get distracted, mind his own business, and feel like a free man. Each person has his own characteristics and needs, and we have no right to blame people for this. No one can get rid of their needs with a snap of their fingers. If you do not satisfy them, this can lead to the most tragic consequences. At the end of the story, suppressed needs can burst out with double or even triple force. Everyone is capable of finding an acceptable way to satisfy them. The ability to find a compromise is the key to a stable, happy relationship.

Female obsession: what to do

So, what can you do if you notice traits of excessive obsession in your behavior? Let's consider several ways.

1. Of course, the very first thing a woman can do is not to judge her lover for spending time with friends, give him the opportunity to relax sometimes, and periodically disappear from his sight.
2. If a man stops responding to messages because he is uncomfortable with your intrusive behavior, ask him to respond at such times using a “key phrase.” For example, that he is still busy. This will serve as a signal that you need to “slow down”, and will also help you identify those moments when a man does or does not feel the desire to communicate.
3. Try experimenting a little. Make a promise to yourself to wait for a message from the man. Consider this as a kind of training of volitional qualities. Also, such an exercise will help you determine how often a man needs to communicate. As a result of this practice, relationships will stabilize and become more harmonious.
4. Take your time. Often the most interesting friends - and this applies to both sexes - are busy and enthusiastic people. Those who have a lot to do simply do not have an extra minute to communicate. The paradox is that this busyness makes them interesting personalities and attractive partners. If your main occupation is to sit back and wait for a man to write a message, this often signals simple boredom. Find yourself an exciting hobby, and then a call from your loved one will not be a huge relief, but a joyful surprise.
5. Hide away from male eyes"women things". This is also an important point. Girls who would like to be attractive to their lover will not show him a variety of " women's secrets» - lie with a mask applied to your face and slices of cucumber in front of your eyes, or excitedly talk about your grueling diet.

Of course, when living together, it can be very difficult to hide all your actions from a man. But he will appreciate the fact that you strive to make yourself more attractive in private.

Bye everyone.
Best regards, Vyacheslav.

Some women believe that increased attention to a man once again proves feelings. However, representatives of the stronger sex try to avoid intrusive women, and there are several reasons for this.

If a woman experiences strong feelings, she wants to spend more time with her loved one. But many representatives of the fair sex do not realize that it is difficult for men to be in the company of an obsessive woman. Those who are among such ladies are identified by several signs at once.

She pesters a man with calls

A woman's attention gives a man pleasure only if it is in moderation. If a woman calls for any reason, he may get tired of the constant calls from his annoying girlfriend. There is no need to constantly remind yourself and waste his and your time on useless conversations. Let the man miss you, and then over time he will want to call and chat with you.

She goes too often to places where you can meet him

Don’t think that men can’t guess that sometimes random meetings with you don’t happen by chance. If you bump into each other a couple of times in the same cafe or park, he probably won't suspect that you're looking for a date. But if such accidents happen too often, the man will soon realize that he is under your secret control. In this case, you will not only find yourself in an embarrassing situation, but will also forever lose the opportunity to create a relationship with this man.

She rushes the development of relationships

If after a week of dating you try to talk about your conscientious future, then nothing good will come of it. Unlike women, men do not like to rush things and try to live one day at a time. If they feel pressure and feel that someone is trying to limit their freedom, then they try to get rid of their obsessive companion as soon as possible.

She controls his every move

Most obsessive women show this very sign. They grab their lover's phone as soon as the screen lights up, they read his messages while he's in the shower, and generally try to always be close to him. No man can put up with such control, because every person needs freedom. If you violate his personal space too often, you shouldn't expect him to want a serious relationship with you.