How to get rid of shyness and uncertainty. How to get rid of shyness? Positive aspects of modesty
Modesty certainly adorns a person. But only in reasonable quantities. And sometimes there are moments when it really gets in the way. At an important meeting, you can’t squeeze out a word, your face turns red, and you just want to fall into the ground from awkwardness. Does this sound familiar to you? Shyness can and should be learned to overcome.
How to get rid of shyness and insecurity
This problem is posed to highly stressed people who find it difficult to communicate, since their level of verbal relationships is quite low. As a rule, their ability to talk about generally accepted topics, as well as about relationships, is hampered by a small vocabulary, stereotyped thinking and excessive idealization of communication as a current one.
Reasons for shyness
The first aspect, associated with a lack of literacy or objective reasoning, is solved by acquiring communication skills and increasing the level of one’s intelligence.
This means that any person at any time is ready to communicate on absolutely any topic, since the necessary knowledge for discussing them is always with him. Therefore, you should not think that communication difficulties will always arise for you.
It also doesn’t matter that you constantly think about what was said. To overcome shyness, the main thing is not to try to look for extraneous meaning in what is said to you, but to answer strictly the question posed.
Be yourself, shyness will go away on its own later
The emergence of interest in a person also helps to get rid of shyness in a conversation, since it is then that the brain is genuinely important about what you get in response. In fact, this means that the engine of communication is interest.
Your interest, your desire to learn something and perhaps please. It’s worth brushing aside any thoughts that it’s not interesting to talk to you, that your thoughts are boring, since there are always people who are open-minded about this.
And this is possible if, even before the conversation, based on your appearance and behavior, someone becomes interested in you. Then they will forgive you for some hiccups, when all you have to do is just be real and speak for yourself.
There is a proverb: you meet someone by their clothes. Agree, when you are stylishly dressed and have a good haircut, it is much easier to feel more confident.
Are you happy with your reflection in the mirror? So you can start working on yourself.
A good practice is to talk to stranger. If a passerby asks you for directions, you don’t have to automatically brush them off with “I don’t know!” First, think, maybe you can find a way to help the person navigate.
Often ask people around you what time it is. This can be done without any particular need. This exercise will help you overcome shyness. Pretty soon you will notice that you no longer have to overcome yourself to ask a question to a stranger.
There is no need to hide emotions, neither positive nor negative. And there is no need to be afraid of appearing to be an overly impulsive person. You will notice that people are not at all as critical of your every word as you previously thought.
Change is always for the better
To get rid of shyness, you need to take failures philosophically. By engaging in self-criticism, you are wasting your time, because everyone has long known that only those who do nothing make no mistakes.
Reconsider your social circle, it needs to be expanded. Have you liked to draw since childhood, but didn’t have enough time to take up painting? Sign up for a course and find new friends whose support you need.
Change your environment more often, go out into the world. To combat shyness, spend your vacation in an unusual way. Instead of the usual trip to the country, it’s better to take a short voyage abroad. Once you find yourself in a country you have long dreamed of visiting, you will forget about your fears. And besides, you will learn a lot of new things.
Set goals for yourself every day, albeit small ones. real goals. When the plan in the diary is completed by the evening, in addition to a feeling of satisfaction, confidence in your abilities will appear.
How to stop being shy
How to overcome the fear of communicating with strangers? Don't worry, many people experience bouts of embarrassment every day. To get rid of shyness, you need to learn to control your fears. A common person differs from a “coward” only in that he controls his fear, and not at all in that he never has to experience it. Therefore, the main task in the fight against shyness will be to overcome fear in communicating with strangers.
How to overcome this fear and how to stop being shy about people forever? Here are some recommendations to help you:
If you feel uncomfortable in a large group of people or in a crowd, then to combat this kind of embarrassment, you need to regularly perform the following exercise. feel part of the world that surrounds you. Take your eyes off the asphalt and observe what surrounds you (houses, trees, people passing by).
Meet your friends' friends. This way, your circle of contacts will quickly expand. To stop being afraid of people, try to communicate with them more.
Interact with complete strangers. Walk up to a person on the street and ask them something: how to find a grocery store, if they like the color of your suit, etc. It's surprising, but only 10% of people don't want to communicate. The rest respond very friendly.
Look people straight in the eye. At first, this may seem like a difficult task, but then you will realize that no one wants to “kill you with their eyes,” and the feeling of discomfort and fear will immediately decrease. But remember not to stare or stare.
IN public transport get used to sitting next to another person, even if there are empty seats. This will show your cowardice that it is completely unfounded.
Very effective and unusual way to get rid of shyness is to imagine that the people around you are characters in a movie. You watch them through the TV screen. Then the fear disappears quickly.
Think about how your life could change if you finally overcame fear and successfully got rid of shyness and timidity. Remember and apply some of the above recommendations, and then you will understand that by getting rid of this problem, you become a happier, freer person, new horizons open up before you, you should not miss this chance!
Dependence on other people's opinions makes us shy. As you know, everyone only likes the American dollar, so learn not to take criticism as a judgment and recognize that the world is not black and white. You will get rid of shyness when you change the grading system.
Become independent of other people's assessments
To get rid of shyness, you need to become independent from other people's assessments and opinions of others. You can't please everyone! Therefore, learn not to take anyone’s criticism personally and painfully.
Why is shyness more common in adolescence? Yes, because teenage maximalism does not allow you to see all the facets and nuances of some actions and events - this is good, and this is bad, this is white, and this is black.
Adults understand that there is nothing unambiguous - in addition to black and white, there is a whole palette of colors, and all situations are ambiguous. Therefore, it is easier to be an independent person and not have to depend so much on the opinions of other people.
If you find it difficult to relax and you are worried about what people might think of you, remember the words said by someone famous: “Don’t worry about what others think about you: they are too worried about what you think.” about them".
Get rid of the controllers
Identify the person (or several persons) who plays the role of an “examiner” in your life, the one who constantly commands you, the one whose opinion dominates you, the one who from time to time speaks exclusively in a negative way about your actions and actions.
Of course, finding him among your surroundings is sometimes not easy, because you are accustomed to his command and take everything at face value, not for a second admitting that this person could somehow harm you. If you have found him, but for certain reasons you cannot completely get rid of his “guardianship,” reduce the distance.
Love yourself for who you are
If the reason for your shyness is a rejection of something in yourself, be it a character trait or some physiological feature, or something else that you don’t like about yourself and try to hide it or not demonstrate it again, ask yourself a couple of questions - “What prompts me to so frantically hide this property, this trait from other people?
What happens if I, having first accepted it for myself, open it to others?” In order to get rid of shyness, first imagine it mentally, and only then transfer your vision and mood into reality.
Learn to objectively and calmly see yourself from the outside without judgment or evaluation. Such an outwardly neutral vision will little by little awaken in you positive emotions, a feeling of love and joy both for the whole world and for yourself, as a part of this world. Direct this love towards what you dislike about yourself. Everything will work out!
Pay attention to appearance
If your shyness is a consequence of the fact that you doubt your external attractiveness, pay attention to this and work on your own image. If on this moment If you are limited in finances, then just make sure that your clothes are always clean and neat.
Do not make yourself an idol
Are you worried that you don't look like someone? Where did you get this internal image, standard and ideal? How did he get into your consciousness? Think about it, could you not compare yourself to anyone? By endowing someone with omnipotence and trying to imitate him, in addition to the fact that we acquire shyness and all sorts of complexes, we also deprive ourselves of the opportunity for individuality and self-improvement.
Develop communication skills
Communicate more and develop the necessary communication skills - communication skills, listening skills, the ability to ask questions, the ability to formulate thoughts, pay attention to increasing your vocabulary and familiarize yourself with the rules of constructive criticism...
The best impromptu is the one that is carefully prepared
If your shyness prevents you from communicating well, then as a “temporary cure” or “transitional measure,” try not to get into situations that are unfamiliar to you. To do this, develop your own personal tactics of behavior. Prepare several specific options (phrases, topics of conversation, etc.) for specific situations. You can rehearse the dating situation at home in front of the mirror, and first sketch out the conversation on the phone on paper.
You have the right, the right to...
As soon as you start to feel awkward in communication, remember that every person has a right: the right to independence; the right to evaluate one’s own actions and feelings; the right to make mistakes and be responsible for one’s actions; the right to say “no” without feeling guilty; the right not to make excuses; the right to dislike; the right not to know something; the right to make ridiculous and illogical decisions, of course, if it does not harm others.
If at first things don’t turn out the way you would like, don’t be discouraged. Give yourself the right to make mistakes - this is one of the main conditions that will help you overcome shyness.
Use affirmations
Try using positive attitudes and statements (affirmations). Although many people consider it frivolous, believe me, it works.
Get rid of muscle clamps
Be sure to pay attention to releasing muscle tension (I will tell you how to do this in the following articles). If you learn to relax, your shyness will decrease.
Each note of shyness has its own muscular echo. Analyze the muscle pattern of your own shyness. Try to figure out which muscle groups are the main forces contributing to this negative emotional state.
Important!
Shyness is not a disability! Some people believe that if they are shy, it means they are sick. This is wrong! I assure you that many people also did not have, and do not have, sufficient faith in themselves, they simply learned to overcome and conquer this fear.
If you can’t help but evaluate yourself, then take it for granted that shyness is not so bad! This trait is inherent in a researcher who always tries to get to the essence of things, and not be content with the superficial “it’s normal.” Therefore, take into account that you are far from worse than everyone else, and many are even better. In particular, it is quite possible that you better than man, on whose assessments you depend.
The worst way to deal with shyness is to “find someone vulnerable, someone weaker than you, and suppress them.” Firstly, it is not beautiful and unethical. And secondly, for a shy person this is violence against himself, because such behavior is not characteristic of him.
Some people believe that drinking alcohol helps them overcome shyness, and they begin to abuse it. This is unacceptable; under the influence of alcohol, a person becomes looser, not freer, and can literally “break free from the chain” - from the very one on which various complexes hold him.
When alcohol stops working, the state of shyness deepens, because a person becomes ashamed of his behavior, he tries to distance himself from others and withdraws even more into himself. The process of getting rid of shyness takes a long time, so you will need patience.
The question of how to stop being shy, withdrawn and insecure worries a huge number of people who want to overcome their inner fear.
Since the listed character traits rarely occur individually, but flow from each other (a shy person is usually withdrawn and unsure of himself), in order to suppress them you will have to do serious step-by-step work on yourself.
Shyness in any form prevents you from being yourself.
A person reveals himself fully only when he feels at ease.
Stefan Zweig. Impatience of the heart
Introduction
The phrase “modesty is decorative” has long been set on edge. Yes, in some situations modesty is needed, because excessive boasting or obvious narcissism does not suit a worthy person. But shyness is something else.This quality hinders the life of both the humble guy himself and confuses those around him - they try to help him, understand him, open him up, but this does not always work out. As a result, the shy person falls out of public life, because it’s boring with him and there’s nothing to talk about. And this gives rise to new complexes and negative emotions in a closed person. And something needs to be done about this.
If you take some action, put in your efforts and back it up with a great desire, then everything will definitely work out!
Finding out the reason is the first step towards success
The ancient sages said: “Find the cause of the problem - and this is already half the solution.” A person becomes withdrawn, shy or insecure as a result of certain experiences, psychological traumas or events that happened in his life.Based on negative experience, he does not see an alternative to a favorable development of events and does not try to change the usual pattern of behavior. All this leads to even greater problems, including seclusion, passivity, withdrawal from reality into the world of fantasies, illusions, and virtual games.
Most common reasons Shyness, reticence or uncertainty in the company of strangers are considered:
- fear;
- resentment;
- stress;
- psychological trauma.
Fear
For example, fear invariably gives rise to distrust of everything unfamiliar. Instinctively, a person withdraws into himself, believing that by doing so he will avoid problems, awkward situations, and possible ridicule.Often, upon closer acquaintance, a person reveals a completely different side in company, but at the initial stage, fear forces him to be extremely careful in his statements and actions.
Resentment towards the world for failures that have occurred also becomes a cause of shyness, isolation, and uncertainty. A person isolates himself from reality, not allowing himself to share his own experiences, emotions, or positive impressions with others.
Unfortunately, over time, resentment only accumulates and if it does not find a natural outlet, then the person becomes aggressive and sometimes even dangerous to society. Therefore, before you stop being shy and insecure, you should definitely get rid of the mentioned feeling.
Stress, psychological trauma
Experienced stress or previously experienced psychological trauma forces an individual to close his inner world from outsiders. According to statistics, more than 40% of respondents experience depression and are dissatisfied with their own lives, and do not make good contact with unfamiliar people.Usually, the invisible subsides with overcoming stress, recovery vital energy, the arrival of positive emotions. As for psychological injuries, everything is much more complicated here, especially when they were inflicted during the period of personality formation (that is, in childhood). Sometimes, to overcome their consequences, the help of a qualified specialist is required.
How to stop being shy: a guide to action
1. Belief in success
The most difficult thing is to take the first step towards a more liberated self. It may even seem to you that this is unrealistic, that nothing will come of this whole venture. Drive away these thoughts! This is wrong. You will definitely succeed. Believing in yourself and your success is very important, so stock up on them to the fullest.2. You are no worse than others
The next stage is the understanding that you are no worse than other people. You are the same, and in some qualities you are superior to many. Remember all your strengths and skills. Some of them are not a sin to brag about or at least demonstrate to the world.For example, do you write poetry? Stop hiding them! Join the literary community and show your creations to other people. Although not everyone will like your poems, you will definitely find fans of your work.
Remember: to receive compliments and approval, you need to show people what you can be praised for. If you are closed, then you simply will not be noticed. And learn to love yourself for who you are. Nobody is perfect.
3. Failure is a learning experience.
Criticism or failures in life are not always bad. Perceive your failures not as the end of the world, but as a certain experience that makes you wiser and stronger.Remember the famous phrase “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger”?
It may be hackneyed, but it is very true. This is true! Therefore, you can be a little sad, even cry, and the next day pull yourself together and move on to a better life.
4. Facing your fears
To overcome your indecisiveness, you need to work hard on yourself. You are probably embarrassed to speak in public. Start by at least making a toast. This is a challenge for many people: to find certain words, assemble them into beautiful sentences and pronounce them publicly, albeit in a small company of close people. It’s better to prepare this short speech in advance, think through all your wishes and repeat several times. You will realize that everything is not so scary. Everyone will definitely like it. Try it!You can also contact strangers on the street more often with various questions. For example, asking how to get to such and such a street. This will also liberate you, you will be less afraid of communication.
5. Become a pleasant conversationalist
Do you think that in order to have a conversation, you need to have some kind of secret knowledge or have a special relationship with a person? This is not always the case. Many sociable people talk with others about mere trifles. It wouldn’t hurt for you to adopt this quality, even if it seems stupid at first.Start by talking about the weather, no matter how trivial it may be. Next, you can discuss matters that connect you with your interlocutor. If this is a co-worker, you can talk about the problem of parking near the office building. If the neighbor talks about how the rent bills have increased. The main thing is to start, and the conversation can develop on its own, especially if your interlocutor is more sociable than you. Practice! And you will get involved.
6. Give compliments
People love to hear pleasant words addressed to them, even if said in passing. And especially women! Give them compliments. You don't have to be full of praise. Suffice it to say that today the young lady has a good hairstyle or a beautiful dress. You will see how she will immediately become more disposed towards you.7. The right attitude
Train yourself to be positive every day. A positive state of mind, even from scratch, will help you overcome life's obstacles. Healthy optimism never hurt anyone!Additional ways to get rid of shyness
Before you stop being shy in companies or when meeting new people, you need to understand that solving this problem depends entirely on the person himself. It will take some time to become more open, relaxed, and sociable. For some, a few weeks are enough to achieve success, while for others it will take several years before all manifestations of the described negative qualities are completely eradicated.There are now several effective ways, how to stop being shy and withdrawn, unsure of yourself.
This list includes:
- personal training;
- development of communication skills;
- performing special exercises (“go ahead”).
The method of personal training has now gained enormous popularity, as it allows you to convince a person that he is no worse or better than other people he doesn’t know well.
Typically, specific guidelines are communicated in the form of a “teacher-student” approach, when an experienced mentor (psychologist) convinces withdrawn and insecure people that no one in the company is trying to ridicule, offend, or humiliate them.
Many of them also experience a certain amount of excitement, but in no way show their own negative feelings. Regular classes with a specialist who knows how to persuade help achieve results, and a person overcomes his fear of communication.
Sometimes it is recommended to develop communication skills by doing certain exercises. One of the most useful options for how to stop being shy in company is to simulate the situation in front of a mirror. It wouldn’t hurt to prepare a few universal jokes that will help defuse a tense situation or give you confidence in your abilities. The more a person “rehearses” alone with himself, the more confident and at ease he will feel in a real situation.
An innovative technique was to perform tasks that require considerable courage from an indecisive, shy person. For example, he should come up and talk to complete strangers on the street, ask for a phone number attractive girl(guy), talk about some event in a public place. After 2-3 such exercises, progress is noticeable, as a person overcomes fear, becomes more open to the world around him, and gains self-confidence.
Several important nuances of achieving success
Psychologists highlight several key aspects of how to stop being shy in company and at the same time win the favor of strangers.The list of such conditions invariably includes:
- acceptance of constraint (excitement, isolation) as a given fact;
- positive thinking, smile, neat appearance;
- lack of comparison of oneself with other people;
- training in slow, intelligible speech.
It is necessary to clearly understand that it is quite normal to feel shy, nervous or withdrawn in certain situations. Don't try to hide your emotions, because it always looks unnatural and repulsive. At the same time, the initial impression of a person is influenced by his appearance, facial expression, and voice intonation, so try to always look brand new, exude positivity, and don’t forget to smile.
There is no need to constantly draw parallels with more successful people in a company, otherwise it can lead to negativity, detachment, and the desire to quickly go to a quiet, secluded place. A huge problem for many people is slurred, rapid speech, which not all participants in the conversation can understand. Learn to express your own thoughts clearly, clearly, slowly, which will allow you to attract the attention of others, avoiding caustic ridicule.
Bottom line
Shyness can be overcome - add some effort to your desire and soon you will see a positive result! Be active, decisive and open to people.You can overcome shyness, self-consciousness, and lack of self-confidence only through painstaking work on yourself, positive thinking, getting rid of fears or complexes. Fight your weaknesses, prejudices, negativity - and you will definitely become a successful, attractive person!
I was always shy and everyone thought I was quiet. Mom loves to remember how in early childhood I hid behind her when I found myself in an unfamiliar company. As I grew up, my social anxiety grew. I was sensitive, vulnerable, and these qualities are an ideal breeding ground for anxiety.
When they celebrated my older brother's bar mitzvah (the day on which a person, according to Jewish law, becomes an adult. - Ed.), my shyness became obvious to everyone. I was 9 years old. As tradition dictates, I had to go on stage and give a speech. She was warmly received by those present, but I was so tense that my nervous laughter gradually turned into crying. It was all too much for me. All I could do was bury my face in my sister’s shoulder to hide how nervous I was because so many eyes were looking at me.
Everyone laughed, attributing what happened to my timidity and young age. But even as a young man, in my heart I remained the same frightened 9-year-old boy.
EVERYTHING SCARIER AND SCARIER
The time came when the boys in the class began to be interested in the girls, and teasing became the norm of communication. Then a wave of anxiety overwhelmed me. Gentle and modest by nature, I felt in complete isolation as if I were a child in the company of adults.
Fear whispered to me that others should evaluate me negatively: “he’s quiet,” “he’s not witty,” and (worst of all) “he’s boring.”
Among my classmates, I could not be myself: real, the way I was at home, and I was increasingly losing faith in myself.
I hated myself for everything: for mumbling while answering in class, for not being able to make a joke when the girl I liked approached me
At school, to calm down a little, I locked myself in a toilet stall. It was the only place where I felt safe, where I didn't have to pretend to be anything. This gave me short moments of respite.
My endless mistakes completely exhausted me. I hated myself for everything: for mumbling something incomprehensible when answering in class, for not being able to make a good joke when a girl I liked approached me.
TOUCH THE SPIDER
In search of a solution, I tried both cognitive behavioral therapy and psychological counseling, but things have stalled. I was looking for a way to quickly and painlessly get rid of my problems and thought like a person who wants to get rid of his fear of spiders, but even for this he is not ready to touch a spider.
It took me a long time to realize that the psychologists were right: I needed to dare to face my fears. I began to realize that they were literally paralyzing me, controlling my life, and determining my every decision. Fears were a chain that bound me.
I realized that two things were bothering me the most, and both of them were just products of my imagination. This realization helped me break free of my “chain,” freeing myself from the stranglehold of my fears.
These are the discoveries I made for myself.
1. Awkward pauses are not necessarily my fault.
Any conversation is a “two-way street.” When I realized this, I was finally able to relax. Communication began to give me pleasure. If there was a pause in the conversation, I already understood that it wasn’t necessarily about me. This does not mean that the interlocutor judges me or considers me boring. I can not worry, not pretend and remain myself.
2. NO ONE CARE ABOUT ME
This discovery gave me a feeling of liberation. I was too self-centered, believing that people only thought about me, pondered my every word, that they cared about how I behaved.
Am I myself endlessly busy thinking about their every action? So why did I decide that their thoughts were focused on me? By seeing my faulty judgments, I was finally able to face my fears.
I JUST WANT TO LIVE
If before I avoided people, now I willingly communicate with them. Sometimes I still get scared, but I remind myself that the main thing is to live, not survive.
I'm still quiet, but when I talk to someone I no longer feel like my heart is about to jump out of my chest with excitement. I began to dream, much more than ever before. My anxiety tied me up like a straitjacket. Now I have become much freer and I see how many opportunities life opens up for me.
I used to live trying to be invisible, now I try to just live.
Hello to everyone who is afraid to call, meet new people, dance in the crowd, return goods to the store, ask the minibus driver to stop at the place you need, etc. Does every step you take in society lead to you overstepping yourself? Shyness kills dreams, interferes with a person’s normal life, and affects behavior in society, so you must understand how to overcome shyness and self-doubt.
Where does it come from?
It's all about self-criticism. Shy people are unusually dependent on others, they have low self-esteem, there is uncertainty and even dissatisfaction in life. A shy person is ready to limit himself to standard work, in which he will not be seen by others.He will be ready to remove all friends from his life, just to experience less social stress. He is completely lost in simple everyday situations, such as making phone calls or communicating with sales consultants.
Each time the situation only gets worse, because every action that you fail to implement in communication is a small blow to your self-esteem, a step towards even greater isolation. You can no longer understand how to get rid of shyness and tightness. The inner Samoyed that lives in a shy person completely destroys your self-confidence. In such a state, overcoming oneself is practically a feat.
If you want to get out of shyness, there are many steps you need to take. When you begin to overcome yourself, decide how to deal with shyness, or even just think through your actions, it becomes easier for you. Time after time, without steps back, you will move towards a free existence in which you can discard excessive modesty. Indeed, in our case it is really unnecessary, simply because it interferes with life!
Exercises
Let's look at the psychologist's advice on how to overcome shyness, modesty and self-doubt. After each exercise, especially if it was really difficult, you need to reward yourself - with something sweet, a trip to the beauty salon, an evening with your favorite book, a warm bath or new purchases. Everyone will choose something for themselves.Exercise 1. During the day, smile at 20 strangers on the street, looking them in the eyes and not hiding from them. It may be quite difficult at first, but such an exercise will help you gradually integrate into society. You will show yourself that the world around you is not trying to offend you, it is quite positive and is also ready to share warmth.
If this is difficult, start by smiling at yourself in the mirror, smiling openly to friends and family. Such a seemingly simple action qualitatively changes people’s lives, helps relieve tension and uncertainty, so you should always start your day and business with a smile!
Exercise 2. During the day, ask people on the street several times what time it is. Don’t choose people who suit you, try to cover as many categories as possible: grandmothers, schoolchildren, young girls, and men. Ask 15 times until you feel confident. If the task is performed well, you can complicate it. In this case, the person should try to ask again as if he did not hear the answer. This helps you understand that people will not refuse such simple help, they treat the questions adequately, they have a positive attitude towards you. Yes, even if a passerby refuses, there is nothing scary or stupid about it.
If the exercise is difficult or you don’t understand how to get rid of shyness at this moment, try to imagine the situation well: from the second when you approach the person to the moment when you say goodbye. Positive elaboration of the situation, which will tell you how to overcome shyness in this situation, will lead to an excellent result!
Exercise 3. Try to “twist” something in your image, for example, clothes. Go to a standard meeting wearing an inside-out sweater and see if your friends embrace the change. This will help you realize that people are not so picky about your appearance as far as you think. They may not even notice the flaw right away.
Appearance won't ruin your relationship, it's really not the worst thing that can happen in your life. You are more significant than your clothes or your image. It is necessary to separate opinions about you and your essence. If you find it difficult, start with some inconspicuous wardrobe item, for example, different socks on your feet or an inside-out T-shirt.
You will begin to understand that any flaw can be easily corrected, for example, by changing a sweater. There's nothing wrong with that. And you won't look stupid doing it!
Exercise 4. Head to the hairdresser and ask the stylist to give you a new look. Ask as many questions as possible, offer your ideas and, most importantly, do not be afraid to refuse the service under the pretext that you need to think about it. Go around several salons to practice this situation until it becomes automatic. You need to speak clearly, loudly, and confidently. To consolidate the result, go to 5-6 salons. And as an incentive, you can get a haircut where you really liked!
This approach helps to increase your importance to yourself. You will realize that you deserve attention, self-care, and being listened to. You have the right to refuse the service and decide what is best for you. If you find it difficult, start with salons that are far from home.
Exercise 5. Buy an item in a store and then return it. You can actually do this legally! And you need to be firm in your voice in order to get rid of the thing that you have changed your mind about wearing. The seller will try to persuade you to keep the item, but stand your ground and be confident! Go to 4-5 stores to overcome your stiffness.
If it's difficult for you, take your mom, girlfriend or friend with you. Then the seller will definitely not be rude to you. But it’s you who needs to speak, don’t shift it to someone else, because you’re looking for the answer to the question of how to get rid of shyness. You will have nothing to fear, which means you will be able to overcome a difficult everyday situation for many shy people.
How do the lives of people who overcome inhibition change?
- Life As we have seen, there are quite a few simple everyday situations in which a shy person feels insecure. Starting from calling the clinic receptionist (delaying a trip to the doctor can affect your health), ending with the inability to ask for directions (getting lost and looking for a way in an unfamiliar place is not the best choice for leisure!). Saying goodbye to such difficulties and deciding how to overcome shyness means really changing your quality of life!
- Relationship. Problems with shyness in relationships are, of course, central. The inability not only to tell a nice person that you like him, but also to communicate with him in principle is bitter! We need to start taking steps, we need to start warm relationships, we need to look for friends. If only because friends, family and loved ones are the basis of our lives. And shyness destroys this foundation. A person who has overcome himself and realized how to get rid of shyness will be able to build new relationships, will be able to say if something does not suit him, and will be able to plan a life together.
- Dreams. Shyness is uncertainty, and uncertainty is dislike for yourself. A person who considers himself unworthy of various benefits, who has not decided how to deal with shyness, can he allow himself to dream? Of course not. Your childhood dreams are deflated as social failures occur. You gradually convince yourself that you won’t succeed, but your stiffness prevents you from diving back onto the path of success. Maybe you sing beautifully, but... stage fright. You play volleyball great, but you are afraid to approach the group playing... You write poems perfectly, but they do not leave your table. Letting go of yourself means letting go of your dreams. A person free from shyness achieves more. Because his horizons are expanding, and he really can do anything!
- Career. A career, akin to dreams, of course, goes up. You stop enjoying a small office that no one comes into, where you do things that are invisible to others. You want to realize yourself. You want to emerge from behind the office fence and start doing what you are truly meant to do in life. Write. Photograph. Maybe even manage people.