Dominance in life. Hidden benefits of dominance in a couple. Dominance in relationships or frame control
Dominance is a scary word for most of us. Too much responsibility falls on the shoulders of one person.
Who is better to dominate?
If the man is in charge in a relationship, then the woman is submissive and obedient. But jealous. She will look for ways to keep an eye on her young man, covering up her jealous nature with all sorts of excuses. With a woman leader in a relationship, everything is much simpler for a man. Not only does she not suffer from delusions of total control, but she is also ready to make all decisions for you. Your friend will not complain about her difficult life and cry into her vest. Just the opposite. To weak men strong wife will become not only support and support, but also a mother. But, handing over her son to such a wife, the mother-in-law can be calm. Her son will be fed (or even overfed), caressed and loved. A strong woman will not ask him if she looks fat in her new dress or if she cooked a delicious dinner. Such a lady already knows that she is the best, she has no need to seek support.
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Pitfalls of a relationship with a dominant woman
Because such a woman values and loves herself, she can easily abandon you. Her interests are higher than relationships, she has no fear of losing you. The driven person is afraid for his soul mate and does everything possible so that she/he does not have a reason to leave him/her. If a man constantly makes concessions and begins to agree with his girlfriend on everything, then he automatically gives her power. Some will only be glad of this, because now they dictate the rules of behavior and they will not have to adapt to anyone. Others will only be upset that a man can be controlled, because not all girls need power. The more a man begins to humiliate himself, the less a woman respects him. In the end, she is left with nothing but disgust for him, and if he does not leave on his own, she will continue to wipe her feet on him.
Dominant involuntarily
Sometimes it happens that a woman has no other choice but to take the reins of power into her own hands and become the head of the family. In the worst cases, these are those women who have husbands with disabilities, single mothers, those who care for their relatives and widows. If they give up, who will help them and their neighbors? It also happens that a woman marries someone who promised to be a prince, but in reality turns out to be a horse. You have to either leave the false prince and look for a new one (which few people decide to do for fear of losing what they already have), or save themselves by working for days and keeping the fire going at home.
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How to learn to dominate?
To dominate, you must either pull your partner below you or rise above him. By increasing your self-esteem, you thereby rise above your significant other. In this case, he or she will only be proud that such a wonderful, smart, charming person is nearby. A little manipulation, and your partner believes that it was thanks to him that such beneficial changes happened. His love and support made you truly happy.
By choosing the easy way, with every word and action you not only manipulate a person, but also show him how grateful he/she should be to you for the fact that you have not abandoned him/her yet. With carrots and sticks, you will educate such a partner according to your requirements. Breaking a strong character is not easy. It's like lassoing a wild horse and taming it. It is easier to immediately find a weak-willed person, warm her up, caress her, and now - she is your servant until the end of her days.
In both cases, such methods of domination are unsafe, because any type of manipulation has its own Negative consequences. By breaking someone's character, you break their destinies.
Your favorite suitcase without handles is hard to carry and it’s a pity to throw it away. If your partner does not initially want such a relationship, you should not take responsibility for other people's lives. Otherwise, you may not be ready to carry this burden for the rest of your days.
In any human relationship, someone is constantly dominating someone. More common is the constant dominance of one person over another. For example, in a parent-child relationship, or a friend-friend relationship, or a man and a woman. There is always someone who sets the “rules of the game” and someone who follows them. It is normal if in a relationship between a man and a woman the leader or dominant in the relationship is the man. Every man wants to dominate the family, but not everyone can be the leader. After all, it’s not at all easy to be a dominant man, as it seems to many guys at first glance. Who is able to be the head and leader in a relationship with a woman? Obviously, he is an alpha male: psychology calls him the dominant one in a relationship.
What kind of fruit is this: an alpha male?
Alpha male - who is he?
First of all, he is an undisputed leader. And it doesn’t matter where: at work, in a company or with family. Most often, such a man leads everywhere. For him this is normal, natural and natural. Most especially young guys only copy this behavior, while not being a leader by nature. The quality of a leader in a man greatly attracts girls and women.
An alpha male is strong in everything. But this means not only physical strength. Male psychology is right in that a truly strong man controls, first of all, himself, his emotions and knows how to remain calm and sober in almost any situation. stressful situation. He will not be confused, he will find a way out even from a seemingly hopeless situation. His sober, critical thinking will not turn off at the moment of impending danger - physical or psychological. He skillfully takes control of the situation, not allowing circumstances to control him.
An alpha man a priori has courage, but his courage is by no means akin to the recklessness of many guys trying to look like a strong leader. He will not get into trouble, endangering himself and the woman.
Such a man has deep feeling self-respect. He respects not only himself, but also his choice; he does not even consider his mistakes to be stupidity, but only a step towards a new experience of self-confidence. Women can sense such a leader a kilometer away.
An alpha male is certainly competitive, but in a smart way. He proves his superiority only in the area where he is confident in his strength, intelligence and dexterity.
A dominant man is capable of violating existing rules when he is confident not only in his result and victory, but also in the fact that he will not harm other people. In general, he uses his power wisely and only where he sees a clear need for its use.
A dominant man is endowed with power, charisma and intelligence, so he is the most naturally knows how to inspire others and lead. This is the kind of man women strive to find.
He is conscious – i.e. is aware of where he is going, why and what he will get as a result. It is on these qualities that other people and women in particular trust him. But what about male dominance in relationships?
Dominance in relationships
Yes, in the relationship between a man and a woman, everything does not happen as smoothly and ideally as in the description of an alpha male. Firstly, where can we find such men for all willing women, secondly, does each of us women agree to be led and thirdly, is a real leader always dominant in a family?
The answer to the first part of the question is disappointing; the second part should be determined by each woman herself, but let’s try to figure out the third part together.
As a rule, the dominant in a relationship is the one who is higher in status. Social status. He often leads everywhere: both at work and in relationships. Although there are exceptions. At work - a leader, at home - a follower.
As practice shows, power in the family belongs to the one who is more confident in himself. And that's okay. After all, relationships and family are a considerable piece of responsibility, and who, if not a self-confident person, is ready to take it on?
As a rule, this is a man. Why? Let's watch.
For most women, the meaning of life is love. For a man, everything is different. The meaning of his life lies not only in love and relationships, but also in professional victories, creativity, and sports. Those. a man has a certain “immunity” against dependence on relationships. Even after losing a relationship, a man still has plenty of other sources of joy. And this is a kind of factor of a man’s freedom in a relationship, which is why a priori he has the steering wheel. It turns out that the one who is more self-sufficient dominates.
It is difficult to argue with the fact that in relationships between a man and a woman, the one who is less dependent on them always dominates. This means that he invests less of his resources in them: effort, time, money and feelings. This is why relationships between men and women are valued differently. We do not value what comes easily, but we hold on tightly to what we have won with such difficulty! And the paradox is that by winning a partner, he becomes more significant to you than you yourself. It turns out that you initially recognize his (her) power over you. Therefore, the overly expressed concern of one of the partners, usually a woman, for a man, is more annoying, devaluing her status in the relationship. Let me emphasize: too much!
Why else do we observe male dominance much more often in relationships than female dominance?
Yes, because the one who controls the relationship is the one who relies more on reason than on emotions and feelings. And this is usually a man. Therefore, dear women, think before you use your emotions, hysterics and ultimatums. After all, these manipulations come from your powerlessness and harm both you and the relationship.
A dominant man, according to psychology, has a certain set of characteristics that allow him to maintain his leading position in relationships and family. U dominant man he has developed the habit of always evaluating what he sees. Management at work, parents, some acquaintances and friends also behave this way. A similar thing happens in relationships - one evaluates, the other tries to match his taste and wishes, trying to “earn” praise or a compliment.
The one who values himself and his desires above his partner, who can be the first to break off the relationship, tries to dominate in a relationship. And it's a man again. It is he who manages the relationship, considering himself smarter, stronger and more significant. But this is ideal, but in practice this is not always the case.
Often in a relationship, a woman simply gets used to giving in, compromising, trying to avoid quarrels, scandals and breakups. At the same time, she can be smarter and better than men. And this is not always an insecure woman. Decent women often become dependent. But those who do not yet know, have not revealed themselves and their advantages. This is what we women should really do first!
A man's desire to dominate in a relationship dictates his own rules of behavior in relationships with a woman. A man often manipulates a woman, trying to increase his importance through ostentatious indifference to her.
For example, he does not call, forcing the girl who is stuck on him to call him first. She does not show activity on her part in terms of further dates, and may disappear from her field of vision for a while. He forces the girl to show initiative all the time in order to be able to control her, making her dependent on him. And at first glance it seems that he is winning. But in practice this is not the case.
This happens when a guy does not love, but only uses a woman to increase his importance. And often in order not to lose the reins of power over her. But it's a loss for him anyway. In the first, it is the cultivation of an addiction that is almost impossible to get rid of, with all that it entails: scandals, accusations, intimidation of suicide and other emotional “charms” on the part of the girl. In the second, there is a risk of losing her completely. In any case, this is a loss for a man: after all, love cannot be achieved by such methods; you can open the trap of love dependence on yourself and only by gaining only a temporary feeling of superiority over a woman. But how long are you ready for such a “surrogate” instead of love?
Male dominance – what should it be?
In a relationship between a man and a woman, the man must undoubtedly be the head. And not because someone wants it so, no! Because it is the nature of a man to be a leader, protector and winner. Even though a man always tries to be right there is common sense. He sometimes uncompromisingly defends his position (sometimes even the wrong one) out of his inherent masculine desire to stand firmly on his own two feet and become even more self-confident. At the same time, it is very important for him to receive confirmation that he is right from the woman he loves. Can someone who lacks self-confidence be a defender of others?
Therefore, we women should not condemn and fear male dominance. We should support a man in his desire to lead and be truly strong, smart and skillful.
Although any power often has its price and sometimes it is too high, so not everyone is ready to pay it. The opportunity to manage, lead, dominate in a relationship for those who are not yet a real dominant comes at a considerable price - the heart of such a man, as a rule, remains closed to many manifestations of love. After all, he lives practically only with his head. But this is the price of “immature” dominance.
And how can this be avoided?
It's simple: if there is love, trust, sincerity and openness in a relationship, the man's dominance will be natural and harmonious. Then a man and a woman appear as two different parts of the ONE, complementing, nourishing and strengthening each other, like cells of a single organism. But if there is no love, I am afraid that advice will be powerless.
In fact, everyone rules the world. The baby that is born controls the mother, an obstacle on the road “controls” the car, and the puppy controls the owner. Everyone controls everyone. And dominating in a relationship is not bad at all, it’s bad not to be able to do it.
“Dominant” - what does it mean? Predominant, superior to others in something. The term is used both to refer to animate objects and not. Most often it appears in the analysis of interpersonal relationships. However, it can also be used in other contexts and word forms.
“Dominant”: what does it mean in a relationship?
As already noted, the word “dominant” most often refers to the role and position of one of the partners in a love (marriage) union. What is meant? For example, when the husband is the head of the family, and this is expressed in his making important decisions concerning the lives of all its members. In this case, he is dominant over his wife. And she (at least clearly) agrees with her husband’s actions and places full responsibility for her future on him.
The concept of “dominance” is also used to analyze the sexual sphere of a couple’s life. For example, in bed a partner behaves like an aggressor; she takes the initiative, thereby subjugating the man. Then they say that the wife dominates her husband. By the way, in modern families This distribution of roles is common, and in many countries. Scientists have found that men are increasingly willing to give their spouses some of their responsibilities.
“Dominant”: what is it in other phenomena
This term in the literature emphasizes the predominant property of something. For example, in economics there is such a thing as a “dominant enterprise.” From the context, one can guess that this organization has certain advantages in the process of operation and management.
Also, the word “dominant” can mean dominance:
- any one color in the general range;
- taste in a culinary dish;
- mood in society;
- trends in fashion, politics;
- gene;
- male in the wild, etc.
“Dominate”: what it is and how it is expressed in relationships
Let's return to the question because this is much more interesting and more relevant for all people. By the way, you can dominate not only in a “man-woman” union, but also in tandems “girlfriend-girlfriend”, “friend-friend”, “brother-brother”, etc. The one who has the leading role in the relationship will dominate. In this case, the other partner will be in a lower position. Almost always, such a distribution occurs due to specific human qualities of the individual. That is, dominant people are those who have the characteristics of a leader. They are characterized by maturity, the ability to make decisions, bear responsibility for their consequences, and the ability to plan. It is clear that they have a stronger and more stable psycho-emotional constitution in comparison with other people.
“Dominant”: what does it mean in a family
Quite often there are families where the wife dominates her husband. In such a union, even if she is not engaged in a career, but sits at home, she completely manages his affairs, telling him how to advance in his career, with whom to communicate, etc. In addition, she dictates how to spend leisure time, how to spend the family budget. Often, a demonstration of power occurs in public: a wife can afford to insult and humiliate her husband in the presence of strangers. True, they always have a question about what kind of man he is if he endures this. But one-sided judgment here is a thankless thing. No wonder they say that husband and wife are one Satan.
Dominance is a personality quality in which there is a desire to be superior to others and occupy a dominant position. Regarding interpersonal relationships, maybe female. According to psychologists, both one and the other forms of dominance are normal, although this is more characteristic of the male sex, while the nature of women is submission and service to their chosen one. In this article we will take a closer look at dominance and how it manifests itself.
Man and woman: who is the boss in the house?
Why is the man initially considered to be in charge? This is due to the fact that his mind, compared to a woman’s, is more consistent and “cold”. That is, a representative of the strong half of humanity is less susceptible to the influence of emotions, which are always secondary for him. Therefore, a man thinks more sensibly. From all this we can conclude that dominance is the power of the one who is less emotionally involved in the relationship and is not influenced by various feelings.
But there are situations when a man becomes dependent on a woman, “under his thumb,” so to speak, relaxes and gives her the reins in the relationship. Such unions have a right to exist and are found all the time. How correct is this? A woman by nature does not strive to control, much less control a man. Her goals include caring for loved ones, only then can she feel happy. However, due to various life situations, female dominance also arises in relationships.
How to avoid falling under the “female heel”?
It’s hard to disagree with the words of Alexander Pushkin that if you love a woman less, then there will be more return on her part. After all, representatives of the fair sex always dream of strong, confident, pragmatic men next to them. How to dominate a woman?
In European countries, some men have ceded their power for quite a long time, and Russian female domination is quite common. Whether this is good or bad is up to you and your partner to decide. After all, the main thing in a relationship is understanding, love and harmony!
You've probably often noticed that outwardly simple and calm guys have no less success with women than cocky "macho" guys. Why does this happen if it is believed that girls prefer real men who are used to dominating in everything, including relationships?
In fact, if you want to know how to dominate a girl, then you don't have to act like an alpha male to do it. In general, there are two theories on this matter, which seducers make full use of. Moreover, some believe that they must constantly demonstrate their superiority over others, while others, on the contrary, prefer to do this on rare occasions. But which one is right?
Alpha theory or how to dominate a girl
In a nutshell, this favorite theory of many seducers says that girls and women always like real men or alpha males - leaders in their environment who have physical or moral strength, although one does not exclude the other. However, how can this power manifest itself? Should a man necessarily behave somewhat aggressively towards others, or should he be on good terms and not give a damn about everything that happens in the world and does not concern him? By the way, both of these options are considered correct in theory.Many seducers try so hard to follow the alpha theory that they dominate everything and constantly, in fear that if they stop behaving this way, the girl will be disappointed and leave. Or the process of seduction without this formula will not end in success at all. But being a “male” every time is not so easy, and it is quite tiring. Moreover, as was already said at the beginning of the article, in order to dominate a girl, this is not always necessary. Read my article "How to behave with a girl?" Here you will find a lot of interesting things for yourself. The whole point is that a girl just needs to know that her man is strong and is able to completely control the situation, and it is not at all necessary - with or without reason - to demonstrate it. What is important here is not the image itself, but the understanding that can be created even with a one-time decisive action. And the girl will like you simply because you are able to dominate, and not because you do it all the time. Do you think that the other person likes that you constantly strive to control her and subjugate her with your desire. No, of course, there are such young ladies. But this is closer to sex.
Male behavior is nothing more than a way to show that you are capable of something. And not always based on something. After all, such “macho men” do not always turn out to be heroes in reality, and if you constantly struggle, then the truth can be revealed, including to your beloved girl.
All this suggests that it is not at all necessary to constantly pretend to be a strong male in order to please your girlfriend. In addition, it can be harmful, and in the matter of how to dominate in a relationship. There are some ladies who notice everything perfectly and begin to use your weakness to dominate themselves. How do they do it? Yes, it’s very simple: they force men to constantly prove their superiority, putting him in awkward situations, for example: “Darling, this guy looked at me the wrong way, deal with him!” And since he called himself “macho”, then he had to somehow get out of the situation.
Dominance in relationships or frame control
Experts have determined that, all things being equal, a man who has the ability to control the situation will be liked by a woman more than one who does not have control over the frame. What are such people like? You often come across them; these are people who, with absolute external calm, have power over what is happening. Moreover, they can remain calm for quite a long time, and therefore simply and quickly show who is in charge here, and even put in place the most charismatic male, as it seemed.Pure dominance is effective only at the first meeting, and when the relationship begins. And when they develop, it can even be harmful to a man. Perhaps my article “How to communicate with a girl when meeting?” will be useful to you. A smart woman will simply use a man and force him to do what she wants, manipulate him, playing on his pride and habit of seeming “cool”.
Frame control is not pure dominance, but control of the situation. And if you really want to really please a girl, then you better go this route. Besides, no matter what the alpha theory says, not all girls like it when their guys behave provocatively in public, and are not able to tolerate the obvious dominance of a man in a relationship.
So, some young ladies really like your maleness and aggressiveness, but others like a great sense of humor and self-confidence, while others like healthy indifference and the ability to control the situation without straining. All this only says that girls can perceive male power in completely different ways, but they always react to it. Therefore, it is quite easy to choose the most convenient and pleasant style of dominance for yourself. There are some men who, for example, dominate only in bed, but they are quite happy with this.
We also note that you shouldn’t radically change your behavior style right away. So, if you are used to behaving calmly, then feigned maleness can raise questions and suspicions. Besides, it won’t be so easy to immediately get used to the role, you have to change the whole image, otherwise it just won’t suit you.
Conclusion
Dominance in a relationship, to be or not to be, is actually no longer a question. Of course there will be. It’s just that in the minds of every second Russian woman, a man must be strong, active and purposeful. You must be the head of the family and the leader in relationships..Another question is how this manifests itself:
- feigned “maleness”;
- control of the situation;
- healthy humor and optimism.
It is only important to remember that behavior is only an indicator of what should already be embedded in her consciousness. It is not necessary to boast about your strength all the time; it is enough that she knows that you have this strength and self-confidence. But if you have to constantly prove something to her, this means that your behavior is already playing against you, and your partner is in control of the situation.