Ego adult child parent communication psychology. Three hypostases of “I” and the art of developing communication. Free and adaptive Child

Today it is difficult to underestimate the contribution that E. Berne’s transactional analysis made to psychological science. The origins of this theory lie in psychoanalysis, but it would be erroneous to attribute Berne’s theory only to this direction. It synthesizes the concepts and principles of both psychoanalysis and behaviorism. All this knowledge is supplemented in the concept of E. Berne with the theory of communications, principles developmental psychology. Berne focused on the concept of a game, which he defined as follows: “We call a game an aria of successive hidden additional transactions with a clearly defined and predictable outcome.” Berne’s “playing person” is someone who clearly understands the goals of his game, may feel that he is wrong, but will never admit it in his interactions with significant partners.

In Berne's transactional analysis, three basic ego states of personality are distinguished: “Parent”, “Adult”, “Child”. The first and third are a state of dependence on another, and the “Adult” state indicates the maturity of the individual.

What characterizes the “Adult” ego state?

The desire for objectivity, the collection of important and useful information, its adequate analysis in relation to the situation. The task of the “Adult” is to understand and analyze the situation and find constructive ways to resolve difficulties. Here it is important not to manipulate, not to put pressure and not to prohibit, as in other ego states, but to be able to negotiate and build a partnership dialogue. A phrase that accurately describes an “Adult” is: “What can I really do?” An “adult” feels the moment “here and now”, he does not live in the past (again and again launching patterns of behavior from distant childhood, like a “Child”, or internalizing the forbidding or threatening voices of his parents), not in the future (like “ Parent”, following irrational fears or false attitudes), but in the present.

In all of us, of course, all ego states replace each other, the only difference is in which of them we find ourselves most often. But it is precisely the state of the “Adult” that acts as a connecting link between different subpersonalities.

How to determine the ego state of an “Adult” based on external signs?

You can begin to analyze your own or someone else’s facial expressions, gestures, features oral speech. An “adult” more often operates with the words: “Why, where, when, who and how, in what way, relative, comparative, truth, true, lie (meaning not true), probably, perhaps, unknown, I think, I see, this is mine opinion". “Adult” uses personal pronouns of the 1st person, saying “I”, “we”, “mine”, which indicates the degree of responsibility assumed; there are fewer impersonal constructions and the use of passive voice. An “adult” does not say “it happened that way,” “it seemed,” “that’s what happened,” and the like.

At the behavioral level, “Adult” is characterized by a direct gaze, without aggression, coordinated movements, lack of ingratiation and suppression of others.

Formation of the “Adult” ego state

There are different opinions regarding the time of its origin. Some psychologists point to the age of 6 months, others - to 3 years, when the child experiences one of the first very significant crises and separates from the maternal figure. Then its boundaries are only strengthened by assimilating new knowledge and developing new behavioral strategies. The development of this state, in essence, is the development of personality.

The influence of the “Adult” ego-state on other personality states: principles of interaction

If we distribute the ego states in one line, then the state of the “Adult” will be in the middle, because the task of the “Adult” is to balance, on the one hand, children’s emotions in all their strength and spontaneity, and on the other hand, to bypass the attitudes and prohibitions of the “Parent”. The “Adult” has practically no emotions, he makes decisions after logical thinking and analysis, not spontaneously. But at the same time, the “Adult” always hears both the “Child” and the “Parent”. Of course, in emergency situations, even the most balanced and responsible person can fall into the “Child” or “Parent” ego state, but, ideally, it is better for the “Adult” state to be dominant. Otherwise, internal and external conflicts arise.

How does transactional analysis work in therapy?

First, it is important to identify the ego states of the individual, as in this moment, and generally dominant in her life. That is, it is important to step back from the situation and clarify from what state a decision is made, a thought is expressed, and actions are taken. Internal conflict is often expressed in pairs of relationships: Child - Parent; Parent - Child, Parent - Parent, Child - Child. If there is such an internal struggle, then it is difficult to make a decision; none will satisfy the person. And here an “Adult” must intervene, who is able to take into account the specific facts of reality in order to decide on a decision.

Topic 6. Transactional analysis by E. Bern

1. Model of ego states

2. Transactions

4.Games and game analysis.

Transactional analysis (from lat. transactio - deal and Greek analysis - decomposition, dismemberment) is a psychotherapeutic technique for group and personal growth, proposed by the American psychologist and psychiatrist Eric Berne. This method of psychotherapy is based on the procedure of analyzing the personality structure. As personal structures, as internalizations of social experience, the features and interaction of three states are considered here Me: "Parent", "Child" And "Adult".“Parent” represents the authoritarian tendencies of the individual, “Child” - a subordinate position, “Adult” - the ability to defend one’s own opinion and organize relationships with others on the basis of an equal partnership.

There are several key ideas that underlie transactional analysis theory: model of ego states, transactions, stroking, time structuring, life script and games.

1. Model of ego states

The practice of treating psychosomatic illnesses in transactional analysis is based on a consistent theoretical approach, the basis of which is the belief that the early decisions that a person makes in childhood about what scripted patterns of behavior, thoughts and feelings he should have can be changed. In transactional analysis they say: “You don’t have to be sick to feel better.”

The main goal of this psychotherapeutic method is the actualization of the “Adult” in a person, the reconstruction of personality based on the revision of life positions, unproductive stereotypes of behavior, the formation new system values. The therapy process must take into account the current psychological conflict and the influence of social factors.

This type of psychotherapy is based on the contract method, in which the patient and therapist are mutually responsible for achieving the goals of the contract. These goals are aimed at breaking out of the script and achieving autonomy, the patient receiving new Parental messages, and creating an integrated Adult.

In addition, transactional analysis allows us to analyze the games of people suffering from psychosomatic disorders and the benefits (winnings) arising from them. Winning all games is aimed, to one degree or another, at strengthening self-defense, gaining privileges, avoiding close relationships and avoiding responsibility.

The basis of transactional analysis is ego state model("model RVD"). An ego state is a collection of related behaviors, thoughts, and feelings as a way of expressing our personality in a given moment. The model describes three different ego states:

P - Parent ego state: behavior, thoughts and feelings copied from parents or parental figures

B - Adult ego state: behavior, thoughts and feelings that are a direct response to the “here and now”

D - ego state of the Child (Child): behavior, thoughts and feelings inherent in childhood.

The ego state model allows for reliable connections between behavior, thoughts and feelings.

2. Transactions

A transaction occurs when I offer you some kind of communications(communication), and you answer me. The beginning of communication is called a stimulus, the response is called a reaction. Berne considered the transaction to be “the fundamental unit of social interaction.” Communication between people always takes the form of such chains of transactions. Transactions can be parallel (complementary), intersecting and hidden. Examples of transaction schemes are shown in Fig. 3.

Intersecting transaction B-B, R-D: C - stimulus, R - reaction

Intersecting transaction R-D, V-V: C - stimulus, P - reaction

Double hidden transaction:

social level B-B, V-V;

psychological R-D level, DR:

S s, S p - social and psychological

incentives; R s, R p - social and

psychological reactions

Angular hidden transaction:

S s, S p - social

and psychological stimuli;

R - reaction

Rice. 3. Transaction patterns

3. Structuring time. When people meet in groups or pairs, there are only six different ways to spend your time. Eric Berne gave the following definitions to these six types of time structuring: care, rituals, pastime, activities, games, intimacy. According to Berne, all these methods contribute to satisfying human structural hunger. He proposes to consider six forms of social behavior - four basic and two borderline cases:

At this pole, the borderline case is isolation, when there is no obvious communication between people. The person is physically present, but psychologically - out of contact, he seems to be enveloped in his own thoughts.

Rituals are habitual, repeated actions that carry no meaning:

informal (greetings, thanks)

official (diplomatic etiquette)

The purpose of this type of communication is to spend time together without getting too close.

Pastimes include semi-ritual conversations about problems and events known to everyone. It is always socially programmed: you can only speak in a certain style and only on acceptable topics.

The purpose of this type of communication is the structuring of time not only for the sake of maintaining friendly relationships, but partly social selection, when a person is looking for new useful acquaintances.

Collaborative activity is interaction between people at work, the goal is the effective completion of the task.

Games are the most difficult type of communication, because... In games, each side unconsciously tries to achieve superiority over the other and receive rewards. The peculiarity of the games is the hidden motivation of their participants.

Proximity is the second borderline case. Bilateral intimacy can be defined as game-free communication that involves warm interested attitude between people, excluding profit.

Stroking defined as a unit of transaction. Strokes can be classified as follows: verbal or non-verbal, positive or negative, conditional or unconditional.

Life scenario. IN In childhood, each of us writes our own life script. We write the main plot in early childhood, before we learn to speak. Later we just add details to our script. By the age of seven, the script is mostly written, and in adolescence we can revise it. As adults, we usually do not realize that we have written a life script for ourselves, but nevertheless we follow it exactly. Without realizing this fact, we arrange our lives in such a way that we move towards the final scene that we determined in childhood. Along with the ego state model, the concept of life script is the cornerstone of transactional analysis. It is especially important in psychotherapeutic activities. In script analysis, we use the concept of life script to understand how people may unconsciously create problems for themselves and how they solve them.

Berne put forward the idea that even at an early stage of script formation, a small child already has certain ideas about himself and the people around him. These ideas apparently remain with him throughout his life and can be characterized as follows: “I am OK” or “I am not OK”; “You are OK” or “You are not OK.”

If we combine these provisions in all possible combinations, we get four attitudes about ourselves and other people:

1.I am OK, you are OK;

2. I am not OK, you are OK;

3. I am OK, you are not OK;

4. I am not OK, you are not OK.

Ignoring in transactional analysis, it is the unconscious ignoring of information related to solving a problem.

World perception and distortion. Every person perceives the world in your own way, and your perception of the world will be different from mine. Worldview is defined as a structure of associative responses that integrates various ego states in response to certain stimuli. Worldview provides a person with a holistic perceptual, conceptual, emotional and motor repertoire that is used to define themselves, other people and the world around them.

To facilitate understanding of this formal definition, it is proposed to consider worldview as a “filter on reality.”

Symbiosis occurs when two or more people behave as if together they form one person. People taking part in such interactions do not use all the ego states they have. Usually one of them excludes the Child and uses only the Parent and the Adult, and the other takes the opposite position, remaining in the Child and blocking the other two ego states. When entering into a symbiosis, its participants feel more comfortable. Everyone plays the role that is expected of them, but this comfort is achieved at a price: those in symbiosis block many of their abilities and capabilities inherent in them as adults.

Feeling like a racket defined as a common emotion, fixed and encouraged in childhood, experienced in a wide variety of stressful situations and not conducive to adult problem solving. Racket is a set of scripted behaviors used outside of our awareness as a means of manipulating the environment and includes a person’s experience (perception) of the feeling of racketeering.

Games and game analysis. There are several characteristic features inherent in games.

1. Games are constantly repeated. Every person plays their favorite game from time to time, and the players and circumstances may change, but the pattern of the game always remains the same.

2. Games are played outside the Adult's awareness. Even though people play the same games, they don't realize it. Only at the final stage of the game can the player ask himself: “How could this happen to me again?” Even at this point, people usually don't realize that they started the game.

3. Games always end with players experiencing racketeering feelings.

4. Players exchange hidden transactions during games. In any game, something happens on a psychological level that is completely different from what takes place on a social level. We know this because people play their games over and over again, finding partners whose games match their games.

5. Games always include a moment of surprise or embarrassment. At this moment, the player feels that something unexpected has happened.

E. Berne's theory of ego states, on which this test is based, is based on three elementary provisions.

Every person was once a child.
- Each person had parents or rearing adults who replaced them.
- Every person with a healthy brain is able to adequately assess the surrounding reality.

From these provisions follows the idea of ​​a person’s personality, which contains three components, three special functional structures - ego states: Child, Parent and Adult.

Ego state Child- these are the feelings, behavior and thoughts of a person that he had before, in childhood. This ego state is characterized by intense emotions, both freely expressed and repressed, experienced internally. Therefore, we talk about two types of Child ego-state - the Natural, or Free, Child and the Adapted Child.

The Natural Child is a state of being spontaneous, creative, playful, independent and self-indulgent. It is characterized by a natural release of energy, natural self-expression, spontaneity of impulses, impulsiveness, the search for adventure, acute experiences, and risk.

The influence of parenting adults who limit the child’s self-expression and introduce the child’s behavior into the framework of social requirements shapes Adapted Child. This kind of adaptation can lead to the loss of the ability to have internally reliable feelings, manifestations of curiosity, the ability to experience and evoke love, to the replacement of a person’s own feelings and thoughts with the feelings and thoughts expected from him.

A form of disagreement with parental demands can be rebellion, open opposition to parental instructions ( Rebellious Child). This form of behavior is expressed in negativism, rejection of any rules and norms, feelings of anger and indignation. In all its variations, the Adapted Child functions in response to the influence of the inner Parent. The framework introduced by the Parent is imposed, is not always rational and often interferes with normal functioning.

Ego state Parent- significant other people stored inside us, inside our psyche. Parents are the most significant for most people, hence the name of this ego state. Moreover, the Parent ego-state “contains” not just memories, images of significant others, these are, as it were, other people embedded in us with their own voice, appearance, behavior, characteristic gestures and words, as they were perceived then, in childhood.

The Parent ego state is our beliefs, beliefs and prejudices, values ​​and attitudes, many of which we perceive as our own, accepted by ourselves, when in fact they are “introduced” from the outside through the inclusion of people significant to us. Therefore, the Parent is our internal commentator, editor and evaluator.

In the same way that different states are recorded in the Child, people who are significant to us are “invested” in different states in the ego-state Parent. Parenting adults exhibit two main forms of behavior towards the child: strict instructions, prohibitions, etc.; manifestation of care, kindness, patronage, education according to the type of recommendations.

The first forms Controlling Parent, second - Caring Parent.

The Controlling Parent is characterized by low empathy, inability to sympathize, empathize with others, dogmatism, intolerance and criticism. A person exhibiting this form of behavior sees the cause of failures exclusively outside himself, shifts responsibility to others, but at the same time demands adherence to strict standards from himself (directs his own Adapted Child).

A Caring Parent protects, cares and worries about others, supports and reassures others ("Don't worry"), comforts and encourages them. But in both of these forms the Parent presupposes a position from above: both the Controlling and the Nurturing Parent require the other to be the Child.

Finally, the third ego state is Adult- responsible for the rational perception of life, objective assessment reality that characterizes an adult; hence the name of this ego state. An adult makes decisions based on mental activity and using past experience, based on the specific situation at the moment, “here” and “now”.
This ego state embodies objectivity, organization, bringing everything into a system, reliability, and reliance on facts. An adult acts like a computer, exploring and evaluating available probabilities and alternatives, and makes a conscious, rational decision that is appropriate at the time, in a given situation.

This is the difference between the Adult and the Parent and the Child, who are turned to the past, reproducing a situation that was experienced especially vividly (Child), or the figure of the nurturing adult (Parent).
Another function of the Adult ego state is checking what is inherent in the Parent and Child, comparing it with facts (reality check). Ego state The adult is called the manager of personality.

Thus, there is a relationship between preferred ego states and a person's characteristic behavior.

Ego state	Type of behavior
Controlling parent (CR)
Foster Parent (FP)
Adult (B)	Democratic (both in communication and in decision-making), information-oriented. Always businesslike.
Free Child (SD)	Democratic in communication, but may be inconsistent in making decisions or not bringing them to fruition (suddenly refuse contact, “run away,” etc.).
Rebellious Child (BD)	Emotional, changeable, inconsistent (his style depends on his mood). It may "explode".
Adaptive child (AD)	Liberal style (softness, inconsistency, inability to insist on one’s own, focuses on the opinions of others).

However, how to interpret the test results?

You should pay attention to the relationship of ego states with each other. Although it is obvious that there is no “single correct” distribution option, nevertheless, a number of researchers believe that 2 options are optimal.

In the first case, the ratio of ego states on the egogram represents a situation where the Adult state is most pronounced, followed by the Free Child and the Nurturing Parent. The Adaptive and Rebellious Child, as well as the Controlling Adult, have the least weight. In the second case, all states are expressed to approximately the same degree.

If the Child is the strongest, then there is a possibility that in this case infantile qualities predominate in the personality. Such a person may lack prudence, a sense of responsibility (or, on the contrary, hyper-responsible), and ethical standards (if the Parent is poorly expressed).

If the Parent is the strongest, then there is a high probability that such a person is prone to criticism, stereotypical thinking, excessive conservatism, and also, possibly, overprotection of others.

Working on ourselves allows us to significantly change the nature of the distribution of ego states in the structure of our personality.

Ego state Adult

When we give lectures, we are often asked the question “What is the difference between the Adult and the Ego?” The Adult, just like the ego, is a concept, but the Adult is the essence of a person visible from the outside. When you read this book, accumulate data, separate what is suitable for you from what is not, and do it all unemotionally - you are operating from within your Adult. When you get angry and say: “They themselves don’t understand what they’re writing about!” - you have moved from an Adult to a critical Parent or an angry Child. We clearly see and hear what the Adult ego state is when an engineer develops a project, a lawyer interprets the law, or a doctor makes a diagnosis. It is an observable, emotionless state of existence in which we accumulate data, evaluate it, and act on it. The difference between the Little Professor, or B1, and the Adult, or B2, lies in the ability of the Adult, based on his own and others’ experience and verified information, to verbally evaluate data, check them, and separate reality from fiction.

Pathology of the Adult ego state may result from a lack of adequate information, such as when educated people based their calculations on the “fact” that the earth is flat. Usually the problem is contamination. This term is used to explain the penetration of one ego state into another. A person mistakes a Parent or Child for an Adult. Think about the sayings “All men just want sex” or “Women are impractical.” Some man may only want sex, some woman may be impractical, but here beliefs are seen as data, which would support bias (see Fig. 9). In the case of the Child's invasion of the Adult (see Fig. 10), fear can be considered as a fact: a person who is afraid of flying an airplane remembers all the accidents, but forgets about the airplanes that fly safely and land safely, and says: “If I fly, I will I'll crash." Illusions are also Children's contaminations, in which the Child, frightened, turns something real - what he really sees - into something non-existent, for example, a shadow on the wall - into a spider.

Rice. 9 Parent-Adult Contamination

Fig. 10 Adult-Child contamination

Eric Berne did not write about complex contaminations such as in Fig. 11. On it all ego states are contaminated, including the Parent, pro-; beeping at the Child. This situation is observed in schizophrenics, when the patient’s child thinks that the parent’s voice sounds in his head and that the father is actually chasing balls on the next track, repeating: “You, guy, are quirky.” At the same time, the patient may hear the psychiatrist saying: “Your father’s voice is a hallucination, because whatever one may say, he is dead,” and continue, as if nothing had happened, to throw balls at the pins. At this stage, he still acts not from the position of an Adult, but from the position of a newly built Parent (psychiatrist). Later he will begin to decontaminate as we work with him to determine whether the “fact” is fact or fantasy. This is how we help the client sort out their ego states. Jake Dusay's book Ecograms2 will do a good job of clarifying this issue. We also periodically use Stuntz's five chair technique3, in which the client uses five chairs to represent the Adult, the free and adjusted Child, the nurturing and critical Parent. Much of Gestalt therapy also serves as decontamination, as we will illustrate in the following chapters with recordings of sessions with clients.

Rice. 11. Contamination of all ego states

In the early days of TA, much therapeutic time was spent identifying ego states. Berne wrote in Principles of Group Treatment that treatment should be an analysis of ego states, transactions, games, and scripts, in that order. We tend, however, to use the concept of ego states in the form of diagramming after the work has been done, in order to add cognitive understanding to the emotional work. As a rule, we do not ask: “What ego state are you in now?” and do not indicate: “This is your Parent speaking.” However, we listen carefully for changes in ego states. During one workshop, we heard a psychiatrist participant say before the work began: “I'm so tired; You work hard and you don’t have any fun.” He told about his feelings, about fatigue. Then gave Parent messages “Work hard” and “Don’t have fun.” Instead of asking him to identify these messages, we asked whether he was prepared to dispute them. He did so, making a new decision that it was okay to have fun, and that he would work as hard as he could. He wants.

It is usually more effective to use changes in ego states, as in the example above, than to simply identify them. However, in order for ego states to become available for operation, identification may first be required. Changes appear in vocabulary, intonation, pitch, volume and/or speed of speech, body position or certain gestures.

Using audio and video equipment, we play back to the client what he has just said in order for him to identify his ego states. “Be an unbiased bystander and listen to the person. While listening, decide how old he is.” The voice of a 60-year-old man can sound like the voice of a 6-year-old boy. When a person tilts his head to his shoulder, he is most likely in his Child, and probably adjusted. Asking the client to assume this posture and then “stand up and talk” usually brings the client into greater self-awareness and often changes an adaptive way of thinking, behaving, and feeling into a non-adaptive way. As patients become aware of their current ego states, they learn to better manage their feelings, better understand their role in their life scenario, and become more aware that they have played or continue to play games. They are more deeply aware of their adaptive behavior - adaptive both in relation to the internal Parent and the external world. Awareness gives them the opportunity to consciously choose whether or not to adapt.

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As an adult, have you ever jumped or danced as if you were still six years old? Or needing care and hugs when you're feeling down and lonely. Perhaps you have noticed that your partner behaves like his mother when he is angry and lectures you about morals? Or maybe fun or moralizing is alien to you, and you prefer a calm, clear, fact-based approach to life? If yes, then know that you have witnessed the manifestations of three ego states that are part of the structure of your personality (your Self): Parent - Adult - Child (Child).

According to the founder of Transactional Analysis, Eric Berne, at any given time a person uses one of three states of the Self (ego states). They can be determined using the visible and audible characteristics of a person: by movements, timbre of voice, words used, some gestures, postures, mannerisms, facial expressions, intonation, words or phrases.

Each of us has a favorite ego state in which we are most comfortable being and interacting with other people. Transactional analyst Claude Steiner describes them as follows:

The childhood ego state makes a person's behavior the same as it was in childhood. A child is never more than seven years old, and sometimes may even be one week or one day old. A person in a child ego state sits, stands, walks and talks in the same way as he did when he was, say, three years old. Childhood behavior is accompanied by a corresponding perception of the world, thoughts and feelings of a three-year-old child.

The childish ego state in adults manifests itself only fleetingly, since it is not customary to behave like a child. However, childish manifestations can be observed in some special situations, such as during a game of football, where joy and anger are directly expressed and where a grown man jumping for joy when his team wins would be indistinguishable from a five-year-old boy were it not for growth and not stubble on the face. This similarity goes beyond observable behavior, since at this moment an adult man not only behaves, but also perceives the world like a child.

In a childish ego state, a person gravitates toward using short words and interjections like “wow!”, “great!”, “wow!” and pronounces them in a thin childish voice. He adopts postures and gestures characteristic of a child: head down, eyes raised up, clubfoot. When sitting, he slides to the edge of the seat, sways in the chair, fidgets or hunches over. Jumping, clapping, loud laughter and screams - all this belongs to the repertoire of the child's ego state.

In addition to situations in which society allows childish behavior, it can also be observed in a fixed form in so-called patients with schizophrenia, as well as in actors whose profession requires the ability to enter the childish state of the ego. Naturally, the childish state of the ego is observed in children.

It is difficult to meet a child under one year old in an adult, but if this happens, it means that this person has serious difficulties. In “normal” adults this Small child manifests itself in cases of severe stress, severe pain or great joy.

It is impossible to underestimate the role of the Child in the human psyche. This is the best part of a person and the only part that knows how to enjoy life. It is a source of spontaneity, sexuality, creative change and joy.

Adult

The adult ego state is a computer, a dispassionate organ of the personality that collects and processes information and predicts the situation. An adult collects data about the world using the senses, processes it with a logical program and, if necessary, issues a forecast. He perceives the world through diagrams. While the Child perceives the world in color and from only one point of view, the Adult sees the world in black and white and observes it from several points of view simultaneously.

In the adult ego state, a person temporarily disconnects from his emotional and other internal reactions, since they interfere with objectively perceiving and analyzing external reality. Thus, in the Adult state a person has “no feelings,” although he may be aware of the feelings of his Child or Parent.

The Parent ego state is often confused with the Adult, especially if the Parent is calm and outwardly behaves rationally. However, the Adult is not only rational, he also lacks feelings.

Judging by the “stages of development of formal operations” described by Jean Piaget, it can be assumed that the adult state is formed in a person gradually during childhood as a result of his interaction with the outside world.

Parent

The behavior of the parental part is usually copied from the person's parents or other authority figures. It is adopted in its entirety, without any changes. A person in the parental ego state is a video recording of the behavior of one of his parents.

The parental ego state does not perceive or analyze. Its content is permanent. The parental state sometimes helps make decisions, it preserves traditions and values ​​and as such is important for raising children and preserving civilization. It is turned on when the information necessary for the Adult to make a decision is not available; but in some people it always replaces the adult ego state.

The Parental state is not completely fixed: it can change due to the fact that the individual adds something to his Parental repertoire or excludes something from it. For example, raising a first-born child increases the number of parental reactions of an individual. Beginning with adolescence and into old age, when a person encounters new situations that require parental behavior, and also when he meets new authority figures or role models, his Parents change in some way.

In particular, a person can learn to develop their Nurturing Parent and eliminate the suppressive aspects of this part's behavior. Some parenting actions are genetically embedded in a person (the desire to care for and protect your child), but the other, most part of the parenting repertoire is acquired through the learning process, building on two innate tendencies: to care and protect.
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For optimal functioning of the personality, from the point of view of Transactional Analysis, it is necessary that all states of the Self be developed harmoniously. A small online test will help determine how harmoniously they are presented in you.

I wish you new discoveries!

Prepared by: Ksenia Panyukova