What to talk about to be an interesting conversationalist. How to be an interesting conversationalist

“I craved connection—I wanted to talk to someone. Over time, I began to realize that I needed to do something to combat loneliness. If I continued to be alone in silence, I would simply go crazy.” These words belong to a man who spent five years in solitary confinement and was deprived of one of the most important human needs - communication.

Indeed, it is very important to speak! Everyone is built that way. This is an indispensable way of expressing feelings. For example, if you want your spouse to know how dear he is to you, you need to talk about your feelings. But for many, communication is not an easy task, it is a lot of work, which is often avoided.

What obstacles may arise on the way to the art of interesting conversation or communication? How to become interesting conversationalist?

He was talking to himself. An interesting conversationalist, though.
author unknown

Obstacles to conversation

1. Shyness

One of the most difficult problems on the way to communication. Shy people close themselves off from others. Why? Perhaps they were brought up in a culture in which they did not particularly communicate with each other, but, on the contrary, were separated from others.

2. Lack of self-confidence

Many people may spend years feeling afraid of looking stupid or being criticized. Therefore, they find it much easier to avoid talking to others.

3. Inferiority complex

This is the case when a person does not mind communicating, but considers himself an “incapable loser,” so he prefers to suffer in silence.

There is another side to the coin: many people feel free to communicate, but when someone else is speaking, they tend to interrupt, thereby depriving their interlocutors of the joy of intimate communication.

How to overcome these difficulties and learn to talk with others in an interesting and warm way?

Listen, be interested, be attentive

If you're at a loss as to what exactly to say, don't despair. You actually know a lot more than you think.

And if you often catch yourself thinking that no one wants to listen to you or that no one is interested in you, analyze how much you can listen. You don't have to talk all the time to keep a conversation going.

Both interlocutors must speak. In this case, you need to be guided by the principle: “Take care not only of your needs, but also of the needs of others.”

For this:

• take an interest in those around you and their state of mind. Before talking about yourself or asking for anything, learn to ask about your interlocutor’s affairs, for example: “How are you feeling?” or “Is there anything I can do to help?”;
• pay attention to the facial expressions of the interlocutor - it says more about the feelings of the other than his words.

A taciturn interlocutor can lead to despair, a talkative one - to crime.
Don Aminado

But what should you do if you are talking to someone who is not good at conversation?

Still, give the other person the opportunity to express their feelings. To do this, ask tactful questions. Let's say you're talking to an older person.

Ask him about how the world has changed or family life since his youth. In addition to the fact that you learn a lot yourself, you will make your interlocutor happy.

How to become an interesting person and develop charisma

In society, and especially among public figures, there are very often people who do not have a spectacular appearance or high status, and in general, at first glance you cannot say that such a person can be in demand in a team, have many friends and acquaintances. However, from the first minutes of meeting it becomes clear that this person is an incredibly interesting person who attracts people with his charm. In such cases, it is customary to say that the person is very charismatic.

There is a widespread belief that charisma cannot be developed as a skill, and that this character trait is given to people by nature. There is a certain amount of truth in this; a predisposition to charismatic behavior allows a person to behave more confidently, at ease and naturally, but this does not mean at all that those unfortunate people deprived of this gift are doomed to vegetate outside the social circle.

In order to take the first step towards becoming, you need to perform one simple action, which, despite its simplicity, is persistently ignored by many people. It's about developing a respectful attitude towards yourself, you need to love yourself, accept all the shortcomings and weaknesses, and then try to focus on the strengths.

In self-love you should not look for selfish motives, because this is absolutely natural. Loving yourself does not mean exalting yourself over everyone around you; you need to understand that a person who is unable to love himself has no chance of earning the love of another person.

Only by beginning to respect oneself does a person become open to accepting love from the outside.

The next step directly follows from the previous one. Self-respect automatically increases self-esteem, and this is very important for successful interaction with others. It is impossible to become a charismatic person if numerous complexes, fears and other consequences of low self-esteem stand in the way. When you are around a charismatic and outgoing person, others also begin to feel more relaxed, relaxed and at ease.

A closed person, by his behavior, makes those around him feel awkward, and as a result, they try to stop communicating with such a closed person as soon as possible. There is no need to try to be someone else, because it is impossible to pretend all your life, and you cannot run away from yourself. It is much easier to be yourself, to stop being ashamed of your shortcomings, and this is a lot of work, which can only be done with considerable effort.

As you know, any skill develops through training. It is impossible to learn to cook well, play a musical instrument, or understand technology, only on the basis of theoretical knowledge. The same applies to the ability to communicate and win over others. To develop this skill, you need to communicate a lot with different people, preferably with strangers. Such training will help you develop the ability to quickly navigate a conversation, and a pleasant bonus will be the appearance of new acquaintances, and maybe even friends.

It is much easier for smart and well-read interlocutors to maintain any conversation, and therefore it is more pleasant to communicate with such people. It is necessary to read a lot of literature on a variety of topics; people have a very keen sense of a well-read person and have respect for such a person.

Thus, we inevitably transfer a decent and fair attitude towards ourselves to the people around us. If the relationship is positive, then the return on interaction will be positive. You need to follow the golden rule and treat people the best you can to get the same in return, then no problem will arise.

Video: How to be an interesting conversationalist in any situation

10 tips on how to become an interesting person and conversationalist

Pay attention to the people who belong to your social circle. Agree that some of your friends attract more attention, they are listened to more, they are sympathized with, while others remain unnoticed, even if they make attempts to be in the center of attention.

Obviously, few people will enjoy the company of a boring, constantly whining person who is behind the times. After all, during the communication process, the interlocutor wants not only to speak out himself, but also to gain interesting information for himself, and to recharge himself with energy from his partner.

In order to please people, you need to be an interesting conversationalist yourself. By following our advice, you will feel that your life is filled with colors, saturated with events, experience is accumulated, and your circle of acquaintances is expanding.

1. Become a good communicator

• Learn to listen carefully;
• Ask questions to your interlocutor, so you will demonstrate that his story really interests you;
• Express your emotions about what you heard. For example: “I am outraged by his action...”, “how did you manage to do this...”, “it’s so wonderful that you did it all...”;
• Keep the conversation going interesting facts from life, books, articles;
• No ridicule of the feelings of the interlocutor;
• Don’t lecture, don’t insist, but advise and recommend.

There will be something to talk about with your friends.

3. Have your own hobbies

When you are passionate about something, your eyes light up, you are overwhelmed with emotions, you are full of energy, which is transmitted to others.

4. Experiment and share your results and experiences

It will be useful for others, you will be grateful.

5. Don't sit at home

Attend more different events (exhibitions, concerts, lectures, meetings, sports competitions). There you will definitely see something interesting, meet acquaintances, and perhaps meet someone. You will have many topics to discuss with your friends.

6. Register on social networks

Connect as a friend more people, even if you don’t know them closely, find groups of like-minded hobbyists.

Post it on your page interesting photos, join in discussions, express your opinion.

7. Connect with a variety of people

Don't be afraid to meet new people. Know that if you are active, you are interesting to other people. They want to listen to you, your opinion and experience are valuable and useful, don’t doubt it.

8. Be confident

Remember that you, with your characteristics, with your “cockroaches in your head,” are unique, and therefore interesting to others. If all people on earth were the same, we would all die out of boredom.

9. Play sports

Yes, it’s not easy, especially if you’ve never even done exercise before. But you don’t have to exhaust yourself with exercise equipment if you don’t like it and can’t afford it. You can start with brisk walking or running.

People who play sports are always more confident and energetic.

10. Look after yourself

The first thing that catches your eye is the person's appearance. Watch your clothes, shoes, hairstyle, makeup. Try not to be old-fashioned or dress tastelessly.

If you don’t like today’s fashion, you need to study the rules for choosing a classic wardrobe and follow them.

Remember that by trying to become interesting to others, you will first of all become interesting to yourself. As a result, your self-esteem will increase, you will no longer be visited by sad thoughts, due to the variety of interests and the workload of exciting things, you will have no time to cry, and there is no need. Life will be filled with colors and meaning.

Conclusion

Remember that no matter how difficult it may be for you to communicate with others today, you can always improve it. Don't forget that the best conversation starters are friendliness, tact and a good sense of humor.

Develop these qualities in yourself, and communicating with you will be much more interesting!

Hello, Dear Friend!
In today's article, I would like to write about how to become an interesting conversationalist for a girl or a man. This article will be useful primarily to those who feel that they have communication problems. After reading this information, I am simply sure that your friends and acquaintances will be much more pleasant to communicate with you.

Have you ever had such a situation when you communicate with a person, but something is wrong with him. It seems that the communication is going well, but inside it’s somehow not comfortable, and you want to end the communication with him as soon as possible. Such people make many mistakes when communicating, which I will write about below, and, as a rule, this leads to the fact that they do not have a girlfriend, normal friends, or even a job. They are simply failures in life, primarily due to the fact that they do not know how to communicate correctly.

There are other people with whom, on the contrary, it is very pleasant to talk. It’s as if you’re drawn to them like a magnet; you want to listen to them and just be around them. Such people are often successful in life. As a rule, they have a girlfriend, many friends and a favorite job. Now I will try to write down the basic rules that you need to apply to become an interesting conversationalist.

1) Tell me interesting stories.
It is this point that I consider the most important. More than anything else, people love to hear real, interesting stories. And when you tell them, you give your energy to others and do not demand anything from them in return. Learn to simply tell something interesting that happened to you, or something that amazed you. If you learn to tell stories, then your acquaintances, friends, and, of course, beautiful girls will want to be with you all the time.

2) Make jokes.
When you joke, you give your interlocutor a positive mood. Then it will be very easy and pleasant to communicate with you. Look, a person is walking and is sad, and then he meets you, and you cheer him up, and also tell pleasant stories. Do you think this person will want to meet you again? Of course yes. A good joke and a nice story are the magnet that will attract others to you.

3) Give compliments.
It is very important for every person what others think about him. This desire for approval is present within each of us. When we walk down the street, we don't give a damn about the people we meet along the way, but we don't give a damn what those people think about us. We want to be considered smart, beautiful and successful. It was, is and will always be.

If it is so important for the person you are communicating with that you think well of him, then give him a compliment. Find what stands out about him and tell him about it. A compliment is the most pleasant word for each of us, remember this. Even if he doesn’t react to it in any way, then inside he will remember you and your kind words about him for a long time.

4) Listen.
When they tell you a story, know how to listen to it. A person feels when you listen to him and when you just pretend that you are interested. If he understands that you don’t give a fuck about what you’re telling him, then believe me, he won’t want to communicate with you anymore, much less tell you anything. When the person has finished his story, ask him something else, for example: “What happened next?”, “Why did this happen?” This will show that you were interested, and you would be happy to continue listening to it further.

5) Don't interrupt.
Very often there is a situation when a person starts talking about something, and then you remember your story and start telling it. You should never do this, it means that you don’t respect your interlocutor. If you remember a story, that’s very good, but tell it better when your friend stops talking.

6) Don't ask too many questions.
You can ask questions only when there is nothing more to say, or at the end, after a person has finished his story, in order to clarify something with him. In all other cases, questions work poorly. When you ask a question, it’s as if you are drawing the person’s energy. He needs to strain his brain and think to answer you. And if these questions come one after another, then it’s just terrible. Remember, your interlocutor is much more comfortable listening to your interesting story than answering dumb questions.

7) Don't criticize.
If a person has done something wrong, you don’t need to tell him: “You’re stupid,” “You’re bad.” Remember to crave approval. If you criticize your interlocutor in the presence of other people, then not only will he not want to talk to you, he will simply say to himself: “How I hate you.” If you are one of those people who really likes to criticize others, then remember, this is one of the reasons why you have so few friends.

8) Don't boast.
Sometimes it’s very pleasant to communicate with a person, he tells interesting stories, but all these stories boil down to the fact that he wants to praise himself: “I bought a car,” “I bought a house,” “Look how smart I am.” Just me, me, me! From the outside it looks very funny and, to be honest, a little annoying. If you bought yourself a new car, then sooner or later everyone will know about it, but it’s very bad to brag directly.

9) Train your voice.
Sometimes on the Internet you can read the following phrase: “It doesn’t matter what you say, it’s how you say it that matters.” And indeed, when speaking, your words mean little; your voice, gaze, facial expressions and gestures are very important. Your voice needs to be trained and there are a lot of different exercises on the Internet that will help you improve your speech. This is what I'm talking about.

10) Communicate.
This is a very important point. When you communicate with new people, you will get practice. Believe me, you will never learn to communicate well around a computer, even if you read 100 books. Yes, you will gain knowledge, but this knowledge means nothing if it is not put into practice. Therefore, try to use at least some of the rules from this article in practice today, this is very important.

Most of all we want love and recognition. We are ready to do anything for them, and we suffer when we are pushed away. We feel accepted and loved when people show interest in us and consider us an interesting person.

How to become a sociable and interesting person? How to become an interesting person to others?

It seems the simplest solution is to live like this interesting life that the very story about her will arouse interest, or get an interesting profession, for example related to art or adventure. But it only seems so. There are terribly boring fashion photographers, and then there are bus drivers and dentists you can listen to for hours.

What is the secret of how to become an interesting conversationalist? Experience many interesting adventures? Talk about interesting things? What matters is what you talk about, how you talk?

To become interesting to others, do you need to talk more or listen more? If you want to become sociable and interesting person Do you need to change yourself, or is it enough to know some tricks?

In this article I will talk about how to become an interesting conversationalist at any age.

How to become an interesting conversationalist and sociable person?

Is it possible to become a bright and interesting person if it seems that you were born a boring gray mouse? - Can!
It's not about what kind of life you've lived, but what you've learned, whether you can look beneath the surface of things and events and find the meaning hidden from others.

To do this, you need to solve two problems: firstly, you need to arouse interest in yourself, and secondly, it needs to be warmed up and maintained. Both of these tasks are absolutely doable and consist of clear, simple steps. You will need patience and consistency, so the first condition for becoming an interesting and sociable person is to sincerely want it.

This is important because you will have to work hard. In addition, being an interesting conversationalist means deliberately attracting attention to yourself. Will you be comfortable in the spotlight?

If the answer is yes, then let's go!

How to arouse interest in yourself?

To arouse interest in yourself, you must first make sure that you are noticed at all. You can stand out with your appearance, clothes, natural or artificial beauty, but we will talk about how you can stand out with your speech so that you are noticed.

Let's take a simple example from life: think about what people notice most on TV. Clips, news, talk shows? No! Advertising.

Yes, you don't want to see it and change channels, but that's because it grabs your attention too much. Otherwise they wouldn't have done it.

What techniques make advertising so sticky? Can these techniques be used to attract the attention of others? Yes, you can!

Volume, speed, brightness, rhythm - that’s what catches you.

TV channels and radio stations specifically increase the sound level in advertising, even if there is quiet music playing in it: the video should stand out from the background of the program. This works on a biological level: everything big, loud, fast and bright is perceived as important and paid attention to.

If you want to be noticed, do the same: react faster, speak louder, move more, look and sound brighter. This will generate interest, which you can then maintain and develop.

Speak louder to get noticed.

We learned from our prehistoric ancestors: whoever speaks louder is in charge, he has something to say. This is how animals think, this is how people react.

Just don’t shout down or interrupt anyone, but don’t let others interrupt you either. Both are signs of insecurity.

And work on your voice so that you are pleasant to listen to. An unpleasant strange voice sound occurs as a result of muscle spasms in the speech apparatus, due to psychological discomfort from the fact that people are paying attention to you. Therefore, treat communication as a game, tune in to a state of calm and ease. Most people have a pleasant and natural voice when they are calm.

A person who understands his values ​​is already tens of times more interesting than one who is in the dark about the motives and goals of his actions.

How understanding your own and other people’s values ​​helps in life. Story.

Olga moved from Ukraine to Switzerland to work as a finance director in an international corporation.

At first, she felt uncomfortable because of the topics her new compatriots talked about. After every weekend or vacation, they gave each other a detailed account of where they were, what hotel they stayed at, how much the room cost; what restaurant they dined at and how much the food cost; what they bought, and again - how much they spent on purchases.

These conversations seemed empty and unnecessary to Olga, but she was worried that she could not fit into the new society. Concern grew until she began the Speech Transformation program.

We figured out what values ​​such communication is based on, why it is important for her new environment, and Olga, as an adult, was able to decide what to do: try to become an interesting interlocutor by adopting new values, or maintain the integrity of her personality and remain in away from other people's conversations.

Olga chose the second, now calmly realizing the reasons and essence of what was happening.

Having understood your values ​​and those on which communication in your team is based, you can make an informed choice: continue trying to become an interesting interlocutor in an existing company or look for new circle communication.

In the lives of many people, the process of communication takes up a very large part of the time. After all, the ability to speak, listen, read and write are the most important abilities that help achieve success in life and ensure effective joint activities of people. Therefore, it is very important to be able to conduct a dialogue correctly in order to achieve good results in the process of work, in personal life, in communication with relatives and friends. By becoming a good conversationalist, you will attract many people to you, learn to win over your interlocutors, and achieve the results you need.

1. Smile. After all, any communication that begins with a smile already attracts a person to you. With a smile, you show that you are sincere and open to productive dialogue. It is worth mentioning that even when talking on the phone you can feel a smile.

2. There is something to talk about with anyone. It is necessary to determine what interests a person and start a conversation on this topic. There are very few people who are not interested in anything. In any case, we can talk about this man himself. Show attention to him, show sincere interest, and you will subsequently find many topics for conversation.

3. If they don’t understand you, it means you didn’t express yourself correctly and clearly enough. Construct your speech in such a way that everything is very clear to your interlocutor. Then you will stop getting annoyed and angry at the person who did not understand you or misunderstood you.

4. Give compliments. Feel free to show yourself as a positive person and encourage those around you. Remember that compliments should come from the heart. Blatant flattery will only push people away from you. However, don't be afraid to praise someone who did a great job. Thank those who have a good joke. Compliment someone who is stylishly dressed. But we must not forget that everything should be in moderation.

5. Active listening technique. In this way you will show that you hear your interlocutor and understand what is being said in the conversation. Look at the person you are talking to, nod your head, comment on his story, but do not interrupt. You can help find the necessary words and phrases when the interlocutor stumbles, ask questions, and continue the thought. This will make it clear that you are interested in the person. And this will make them want to continue communicating with you.

6. Try to call the person you are talking to by name more often. As psychologists have proven, sound own name- the most pleasant and sweet sound for the human ear. After all, a person is given a name at birth and he carries it throughout his long life.

7. Speak clearly and simply. Even if both you and your interlocutor have several higher education, do not use complex words in conversation scientific terms and revolutions. There is no need to try to give yourself some kind of dubious status through abstruse conversation. Any clever man will still understand how smart or stupid you are.

8. Do not interrupt your interlocutor and do not give advice that you are not asked for. Listen to the person until the end, and then comment on his words. This will show that you are interested in talking to him. By interrupting, you show your bad manners. If you feel the urge to give unsolicited advice, suppress this urge. Otherwise, the person will think that you consider yourself smarter than him, and this is an obstacle to successful communication.

9. The conversation should be interesting for you. If you have to carry on a conversation about something that is not interesting to you, try to understand the topic of the conversation. Otherwise, a person without feeling feedback, will stop talking.

10. Remove the pronoun “I” from the conversation. Everyone knows that all people are selfish by nature. And, as a rule, everyone wants to hear mainly about themselves. But this approach to communication is wrong. Try to use other shades of statements instead of combinations with the pronoun “I”. For example, instead of “I want”, say: “I would like” or “I would like.” This will slightly change the way you speak to you.

A person who is interested in a variety of areas of life, from fashion and style to hunting and fishing, can become a good conversationalist. If there is no thirst for new knowledge, curiosity, interest in life in all its brightest manifestations, then becoming a good conversationalist is quite difficult. After all, only by showing interest in your interlocutor, maintaining a conversation on any topic, showing your disposition towards him, you thereby form interest and an excellent attitude towards yourself.

Are you telling a compelling story and find people yawning? This story may not be as interesting as you think. Try to finish it and let others speak.

2. Know how to listen

Let your interlocutor talk about himself. Ask him counter questions. It's strange, but the people we like the most always say little.

3. Discuss the other person's interests

Ask the person about his life, ask different questions and discuss them. You are already 80% close to being liked. If you are well versed in the hobbies of your interlocutor, you can easily maintain a conversation. If not, then ask him in more detail. He will tell you with great pleasure.

4. Keep three stories in reserve.

People are not interested in the features of your new phone. What really turns them on is real events that happened to you. So always have three stories to tell. They should be exciting and emotional. Let the interlocutor be interested in what will happen in the next minute.

5. Develop charisma

There is so much meaning put into this word that it becomes difficult to understand its true meaning. Some say that you are born with it, while others believe that this personality trait is developed over the years. But here's what's interesting: the study The Heart of Social Psychology: A Backstage View of a Passionate Science, conducted by two psychologists in 1967, proved that in a conversation, only 7% of attention is paid to words. The rest comes from tone of speech and body language.

Laugh, smile, be emotional. Don't forget about gestures and don't rely only on words.

6. Live an interesting life

Chat with different people, read more books, watch movies, travel. Most The right way to become an interesting person is to live an interesting life. And believe me, this will give you much more than just the opportunity to be a good conversationalist.